Lies and Losses
by BettyHT
Summary: In Illinois, Ben has more trouble with McWhorter and loses someone dear to him because of it. Story follows a different path but eventually the whole family will be together on the Ponderosa. It may take some time for that to happen however. It's based on a story idea suggested by a reader. Thank you, Sylvia, for the story idea that got me started.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Five-year-old Adam Cartwright was worried. His father had not come back the day before after being called with his new wife to hurry to her brother's side, and late at night, Inger had come back alone. She had been crying in her room and had not come out to make any breakfast for him. Finally, silently, Inger had emerged without noticing that Adam had not had anything to eat that morning. He wanted to ask her where his father was, but she looked so sad and forlorn, he didn't want to ask anything of her. He worried very much though. At about eight, there was a knock on the door. Adam knew it would not be his father because he wouldn't knock, but he was surprised to see Mr. McWhorter and the constable. The constable rudely addressed Inger.

"We've come for the boy."

"He's my stepson now, and I will take care of him."

"The judge annulled your marriage. You are Inger Borgstrom again."

"He cannot do that. We said our vows to each other."

"That was before we knew your brother might die as a result of the fight he had with Ben Cartwright. The judge thinks he married you so you couldn't testify against him."

"I could not say anything bad about Ben, and Mr. McWhorter admitted that he hit Gunnar and that is why he was hurt so badly."

"No, now Mr. McWhorter has said that he only made that admission because Ben Cartwright beat him until he would. Now that Cartwright is in jail, he said he is no longer afraid of him and is telling the truth."

"No, it's a lie. My Ben would never have hurt Gunnar like that."

"You can fool yourself all you want, but I believe McWhorter over that vagabond, and so does the judge. I would think you would be more concerned with your brother's condition than that of a man you barely know."

"Gunnar was getting better. We don't know what happened to him to make him unconscious."

"But the point is that he is unconscious and the doctor says he may never wake up. Ben Cartwright is staying in jail. That's no husband for you and the marriage has been annulled anyway. Now Mr. McWhorter has said that he will marry you and take over care of the boy and pay for Gunnar's medical bills as well."

"No, I am married to Ben. I will not marry another. It would be wrong."

"Then we got to take the boy."

"Oh, no, I can care for Adam. You can leave him with me."

"We can't leave a boy in your care. You're a woman and you sold your share of the store. You have no place to live and that money won't last long."

"I could stay in our wagon. Ben has supplies there now, and Adam and I could stay there until Ben gets out of jail."

"Don't you understand at all? Your Cartwright ain't getting out of jail. Your marriage has been annulled. The only way you can help yourself and this boy is to marry Mr. McWhorter."

"Where will you take Adam?"

"We'll find a family to take care of him and raise him up right. It's none of your concern. Boy, go pack your things. You're coming with us."

"I don't want to go with you. I want my Pa."

"You ain't got a choice in this. Miss Borgstrom could keep you with her if she'd marry Mr. McWhorter, but she's being stubborn. Now get your things or you'll get a tanning from me that you won't soon forget."

With a fearful defiance, Adam reluctantly retreated to the small bed that he had used since arriving in this town. It was in the same room where his father had slept. Inger went with him and knelt at his side.  
"Adam, I'm sorry I can't help you right now, but I will do everything I can to get your father out of jail. Then we will come get you and we will continue your father's journey to find his dream in the west."

"We'll find those towering trees and tall mountains that touch the clouds?"

"Yes, Adam, we will. Now, you take your things but remember always that I love you and your father loves you."

Adam looked at his father's things especially the trunk that had his mother's music box, her picture in a silver frame, and the book that his father had told him was her favorite. He looked at Inger and her heart broke to see the tears in his eyes even as he tried to be brave. "Will you keep my mother's things, please? Someday, I hope Pa will let me have them."

The constable came in the room and roughly grabbed Adam by the arm. "Come along now. You've had plenty of time to get your things together." Looking at the small valise, he smirked. "That's all you've got? Seems like your Pa didn't do so good for you, now did he?"

"Don't you say anything bad about my Pa. He's the best Pa in the world."

The constable smirked again and pulled Adam from the room and left with him. McWhorter paused in the door.

"You could save that boy. Marry me and his troubles will be over. I might even be persuaded to ask the court to grant clemency to your Cartwright. He might only serve a year at hard labor that way. Do it your way, and he's looking at twenty years at least. If your brother dies, and it looks like he might, Cartwright could hang. Poor Gunnar: he's having a hard time breathing. It could get worse too unless you decide to do the right thing."

"You're a monster. I will never marry you."

"The fate of that boy and his father are on your head then. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Once McWhorter left, Inger knew she had one hope. She gathered up the money she had and walked down the street to the only man in town not in league with McWhorter. He was a lawyer who had worked in Illinois and was working his way west hoping to set up practice somewhere in California if all went well, but he had been stuck in this little town for a year unable to get enough income to make the next part of his journey. She opened the door to his small rented office and saw him turn to her.

"Miss Borgstrom, to what do I owe the honor of your visit today."

"Mr. Wood, I need help. My husband, Ben Cartwright, needs your help even more as does his son, Adam."

"Please, have a seat. Call me Hiram."

In an efficient manner and unemotional tone, Inger explained everything that had happened. She asked if he thought he could help. "I can pay you, Hiram. I have the money from the sale of my half of the store."

"My dear, your case has touched my heart. I am troubled by what I see happening in this town. If I can help you and we get Mr. Cartwright out of that jail and get his son returned to him, then you can pay me by letting me travel with you. I too wish to go west, and if I win this case for you, I don't think I would stay healthy in this town."

Hiram's first stop was to visit Ben in the jail. Ben was morose but then infuriated when he heard that Adam had been taken from Inger's care. Once Hiram left, Ben stared out the jail cell window as he would for several days. "Oh, God, please protect Adam. He is my world. I cannot lose him too." Ben prayed for Adam as often as he thought about him which was almost constantly as he waited to be released from jail. Inger visited and updated him on Hiram's progress in the case. They both prayed it would not take too long and feared what Adam must be enduring living with strangers. With tears in his eyes, Ben opened his heart to Inger.

"Inger, my boy has suffered enough. This is too much. He lost his mother, and then I set off on this journey taking him with me. He's never known a home. He's never had the chance to make friends. Now this. I need to make this up to him, but I don't know how I can."

"Ben, Adam told me that you are the best pa in the world. He loves you. Nothing will change that."

"I wish I could be as sure of that as you are."

Getting Ben released took several days as Hiram Wood interviewed the doctor who was caring for Gunnar and found that the doctor was highly suspicious telling Hiram that Gunnar had additional injuries to his face after he was visited by friends of McWhorter. The doctor suspected that someone had held a pillow over Gunnar's face until he was unconscious. The assailant probably thought he was dead not realizing that he was still breathing shallowly. All was not good news though. Gunnar woke up with no memory of recent events and was surly and uncooperative. The doctor said that it was a result of his head injuries and being deprived of air when someone as yet unidentified tried to smother him. He said that it was immediately after McWhorter and two of his friends visited Gunnar that the doctor's wife had discovered that their patient was unresponsive. Soon after Hiram visited with the doctor and his wife, two of McWhorter's friends left town and could not be located.

Then Hiram discovered, by interviewing a number of people, that the judge owed a large gambling debt to McWhorter. With that evidence, he contacted the state government and had another judge assigned to the case. That judge was not happy when he arrived two days later having been pulled from his home and regular assignment to take on this messy case. However when he heard the evidence in a hearing, he immediately freed Ben but told him to stay in town. His first request was to have Adam returned to his custody. The judge agreed and asked where the boy was. The constable shocked almost everyone with his answer.

"We bonded him out to a family that was passing through. They said they could use the help when they got to California."

"You what? You sent my son to live with strangers! You handed him over like a piece of property?"

"Order! Order! Mr. Cartwright, be seated and be quiet. Now, Constable, what is the name of the family?"

"I don't know. McWhorter handled it."

"Mr. McWhorter, what is the name of the family?"

"I don't know. I never asked. They said they would take him so I turned him over."

Ben couldn't restrain himself. Hiram did his best to stop Ben from attacking McWhorter. "You sick bastard. You tried to steal my wife, and you stole my son!"

Hiram talked to Ben to try to calm him. "Mr. Cartwright, stay calm. We won't be able to find your son if I have to work to get you released from jail for attacking McWhorter."

"Ben, please, he's right. Let's go find Adam."

"Where are my wagon and horses? We can leave as soon as I have them again."

Hiram turned to the judge. "Your Honor, Mr. Cartwright would like his property returned to him. He has a wagon, supplies, horses, and various other items."

The judge turned to the constable and could tell by the man's demeanor that he wasn't going to like his answer. "Constable, where is Mr. Cartwright's property?"

"Ah, the judge, you know, the other judge, said we should sell it all to pay for Mr. Cartwright's expenses while he was in jail. We gave all the money to Mr. McWhorter like the judge said to do."

Ben was livid, but Inger on one side and Hiram on the other, were able to restrain him.

"Constable, to whom did you sell Mr. Cartwright's property?"

"We sold all of it to people on that last wagon train that come through. You know, the one that we sent the boy with."

"Mr. McWhorter, you will pay that money to this court so that we can refund it to Mr. Cartwright. Meanwhile, constable, you will take Mr. McWhorter into custody. Once he has paid that money as specified, he will be held in the jail until I'm satisfied that all the information in this case is in my hands. Then I will be handing it over to a prosecutor to set charges. You will arrest Judge Henry too. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Your Honor." The constable looked clearly uncomfortable with those orders.

"Constable, if my orders are not carried out as I have enumerated, you will be enjoying the comforts of that jail as well. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Very well, then, see to it. Mr. Cartwright, I apologize for what has happened to you. I will see that the authorities help you in any way that they can. I'm sorry to say that your marriage was legally annulled, but if you wish as soon as the court is adjourned, I could marry you if that is what you wish. Court is adjourned."

"Your Honor, thank you, and yes, we would like you to marry us."

Within minutes, the ceremony was concluded and Ben left to get his money and to secure a wagon, horses, and supplies so that he could begin the journey to find Adam. Inger was worried about Gunnar.

"We can pay for his care before we leave. He's a man. Adam is a little boy. He needs us far more than your brother needs us."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

On the wagon train, Adam did need his father and Inger very much. He was ordered to do a lot of chores, and was fed only what was left after the family ate. His stomach ached with hunger every night and every morning. When it made him sluggish at doing his assigned tasks, he was tanned. After two weeks, those stings with the belt drew blood because the skin was so tender. Mr. Nuss though didn't relent. Soon Adam couldn't sit and wasn't asked to do that anyway. He was treated as property and had no one there to protect him. The other people on the train seemed not to want to interfere in what the Nuss family expected of him because they had a legal right to do what they did. Adam was given a threadbare blanket and wore all of his clothing at night in order to stay warm enough. He lay looking at the stars each night with tears in his eyes. His father had been teaching him the constellations. He named the ones that he could remember, and picked out the star that his father had said was his mother.

"Please, Mama, ask God to help Papa. Ask Him to keep Inger safe too. If He has some time, maybe he could find some good people to save me too. Thank you."

But each day continued to be miserable. He was so hungry that he began to stagger and stumble as he walked behind the wagon each day. Some of the women on the train must have noticed, because when given the opportunity, they would slip small bits of food to him and were rewarded with the boy's thanks and a small smile. As charming as Adam was, the other women on the train could not understand the coolness of Mrs. Nuss to him. Adam understood after overhearing the two of them talk one evening when they thought all the children were asleep. Catherine objected to the frequent tannings Adam was getting.

"Catherine, he looks just like Jamie. He will be disciplined properly. I will not have another boy in my care do what our oldest did."

"Michael, he was a boy, only thirteen. Jamie didn't know any better."

"Oh, he knew better. He did things just to annoy me. When he ran away, it was the best thing for all of us. Now I need another boy to do the work that he should have been doing. The girls can't do those things and they're too young anyway. Now, I'll tan him until he obeys me without question. He's got to learn the proper way to behave."

"What if he runs away too?"

"You see, he's too young to run away. I'll have him on the straight and narrow by the time he's thirteen. He won't be caught stealing."

"Michael, he was hungry. He only took food because he was hungry. You didn't need to tan him so hard for that."

"I did, and he showed what kind of boy he was by running away instead of taking responsibility. I won't make that mistake with this one. If he wants to live with us, he's got to follow my rules or take my punishment. That's my final word on it."

"Michael, he can't replace Jamie in my heart."

"He don't have to. He just has to do the work I give him. Now we need to get some sleep."

Soon he heard Mr. Nuss snoring, but he didn't fall asleep. He was thinking about what he had heard and began to formulate a plan. The problem was that he was five, and his planning skills were deficient because of his lack of knowledge and experience. Nevertheless, he had a plan and waited for the chance to implement it. He gathered as much food as he could into his pockets hoping that it would be enough. Two days after formulating his plan, Adam found a chance to try it. He was sent out to collect firewood. He brought some in and was told it wasn't enough. He went to get more but instead, he kept walking in a straight line away from the camp. He walked until it was too dark to see and then hid in a thicket next to a small stream.

As soon as it was light again, he drank all that he could, ate some of his hoarded food, and began walking again. Once he thought that he was far enough away, he turned to walk back in the direction they had come. He never heard them call his name or saw the searchers looking for him. After several hours of fruitless searching for any sign of the missing boy, the wagon train had to move on. By that time, Adam was thoroughly and hopelessly lost. He didn't know how to find water, make a shelter, or protect himself from the sun. He ate the food he had and then had no skills to get any more. Late the second day, he found a stream and drank his fill assuaging his thirst and temporarily masking his hunger. He looked at the stream and thought he saw fish swimming or at least assumed that the shadows darting about in the water were fish. He had no way to catch them. He stood watching and wondering how he would get food when suddenly large shadows were cast across him and the water by the setting sun. He turned to find five large Pawnee sitting on their horses and staring down at him. They were fierce looking. Three carried long handled metal tomahawks in their hands and one had a string of bear claws around his neck. All were bare chested and clad in leather from the waist down. One swung down and approached Adam who did his best not to flinch or to show the terror he had inside.

"Where you go, boy?"

"I'm trying to get back to where my father is."

"There no whites here. Only ones in moving white tipis."

"My father is in a town way back there." Adam pointed the opposite way of the setting sun.

The Pawnee conversed in their language for a time before the one who had spoken to him addressed him again. "You come with us. We take you to Army and trade. They take care of you."

"Will they take me to my father?"

The Pawnee who had spoken with him shrugged. He didn't know and didn't care. All he knew was that the Army would likely give them something for the boy they had found. He swung up on his horse and put his hand down for Adam who hesitated only a moment before grasping the hand and being pulled up behind the warrior. The man pulled Adam's hands around him so that he would hang on. The warriors rode only a short distance to where a small stand of trees grew beside the stream. There they dismounted and hung the pronghorn they had shot from a tree branch and began dressing it out. Adam understood that they meant to cook some of it so he began looking around for sticks for the fire. The warriors nodded appreciatively that he knew what he should do. He carried in one load and then another before looking to the one who spoke to him earlier as if to ask if it was enough. The man raised one finger so Adam assumed he wanted one more load and went to get it. By the time he returned, there were sticks over the fire holding chunks of meat. One by one the men took meat from the fire and began to eat. One of them pointed at Adam and at the fire. He moved forward and took the meat as his mouth watered with the smell of it. He watched the men eat and mimicked their actions including wiping his greasy fingers on his pants legs which made them laugh. One of them said something to Adam and then wiped his greasy fingers in his hair. Adam watched him and then wiped his greasy fingers on his pants again which sent all five of the warriors into peals of laughter.

Once dinner was gone, the warriors went to get their horses and watered them before tying them nearby for the night. Adam walked with the one who had spoken to him earlier. He stood as the man spoke softly to his horse stroking his cheek as he did so.

"Can I do that?"

The man pointed at Adam to come forward. He put his hand on his horse's nose pushing his head down and then stroked his cheek. He had Adam put his hand on the horse's nose and then stroke his cheek. Very quickly, the horse got used to Adam doing that and relaxed so that the warrior took Adam's hand from the horse's nose. The animal kept his head down so that Adam could continue to stroke his cheek. That night, Adam slept next to that warrior who was kind enough to let Adam share his blanket. The next morning, Adam gathered more wood for the fire, and then asked if he could lead the warrior's horse to water. He got a simple no, but didn't know that the men had set the horses out to graze as soon as it was light. Breakfast was the same as dinner. The fire was doused, the remaining antelope was wrapped up tightly and the men got the horses. Soon they were ready to go. Adam rode behind the warrior again, and they followed that routine for three days until they saw smoke in the distance, lots of smoke. The five men laughed.

"White man's fire. Build big fire, stay far back." They laughed again and rode in the direction of the smoke. They cleared a rise and saw the soldiers down below rush to get weapons. The warrior with Adam rode down first alone. After he had gone about one hundred yards, the second warrior rode down. They wanted the soldiers to know that they were not hostile. Soon the warrior with Adam reached the Army camp.

"What have you got there, Chaco?"

"We find white boy and keep him safe. You pay us?"

"Like as not, you stole him from some wagon train and then changed your mind about keeping him."

"Boy tell you truth. Ask him."

Chaco helped Adam slide to the ground. The major saw a thin boy with dark curly hair. "What's your name boy, and how did you come to be lost?"

"My name is Adam Cartwright. I was with a wagon train but I ran away."

"Now why would you run away out in the middle of the wilderness, boy?"

"Mr. Nuss wouldn't feed me and he tanned me almost every day."

"Mr. Nuss your father, boy?"

"No, sir, he was the man who gave the men money so he could take me with him and make me work."

"What men, boy?"

"The men who said my Pa was in jail."

"Where's your ma then?"

"She died when I was born. I only got my Pa. I thought I had Inger too, but the men said she wasn't married to my Pa no more so that's why she couldn't keep me."

"What's your father's name?"

"Ben Cartwright but some people call him Benjamin."

"Where did this happen, boy?"

Adam pointed in the general direction of east. He didn't know the name of the town, and he had been traveling for weeks with the wagon train since then. He had no idea how far away it was nor if his father was still there. The major finally shrugged and told his aide to take Adam to his tent.

"We'll take him with us to Fort Childs. Maybe someone there will know what to do with him." Then the major turned back to haggle with Chaco over what the Pawnee would be paid for bringing in the white boy. Once more, payment for Adam was made and no record of it was kept. Adam walked with the aide but had a question.

"Will you be able to find my Pa?"

The aide didn't want to be too discouraging but knew the likelihood of that was minimal under the circumstances. "Maybe. You know your name at least and your father's name. Someday you may find him or he'll find you."

That evening, the aide had disturbing news to report to the major. "Sir, when I was having the boy bathe and had him wrap up in a towel while I cut down some old trousers for him to wear, I saw welts on him. Lots of them, sir. He's been beaten badly. He's got bruises too in all colors. Whoever had this boy was treating him like a rabid dog."

"Well, then, we have a better idea why a boy who seems so smart might run away into a wilderness where he had no hope of finding help. He was desperate and maybe in fear for his own life. I wouldn't mind having a boy like that for myself. My wife and I haven't been able to keep any of ours alive. Moving from city to city and fort to fort has been too hard on them. If we can't find the boy's family, I might ask her if she would like this boy to be ours." The major hadn't been sure that any of those babies had been his with the way his wife liked to entertain herself when he was gone on his many missions into the west. He took a lot of ribbing from his fellow officers for his failure to have a son. This boy could meet his need for an heir, someone he could mold into an officer who could make his father proud and make all the other men hold their tongues.

"Sir, I hope it's not out of line for me to say this, but if we can't find his father, he couldn't have a better substitute father than you. Sir, what do you think the chances are of finding the boy's father?"

"Lieutenant, with the information we have, finding a needle in a haystack would be easier. At least we would know it was in there."

From the tent where he had been given a cot and warm blankets, Adam turned his face into his pillow and sobbed. He wasn't going to let them see how distraught he was. His father had told him on numerous occasions that he had to be strong and control his emotions when facing trouble. He was proud that he had not cried nor cried out when Mr. Nuss was tanning him or knocking him around for not doing everything perfectly. But hearing that he might never see his father again was too much. He had to cry, but he wasn't going to let anyone know that. Once the tears had soaked the pillow but dried on his face, he prayed that his father would find him even if the Army could not find his father. If that didn't happen, he vowed that someday he would find his father. Exhausted, he fell asleep as he would so many nights of his young life. He didn't understand that if he had told someone that his grandfather Stoddard was in Boston, he could be sent there and then would be reunited with his father. By the time he knew that, he was part of Major Davis' family and unable to do anything about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Mr. Cartwright, it's not safe for a few wagons to travel alone along the Platte."

"That may be so, but this wagon train is moving too slowly. I need to go faster and catch up to the last train that passed through here. My son is with that train. We'll only be a few wagons until we catch that train. It's a big train and must be moving as slowly as this one. With the extra horses we have, and the new wagons, we should be able to make up ground on them every day."

"If you don't run into trouble."

"We have enough food that we won't stop to hunt. We're not taking a milk cow or any thing else that would slow us down. We should be able to travel as fast as the horses can pull, and then we'll switch the fresh horses in and keep going. Instead of eight or ten hours of travel, we're hoping to go from sunrise to sunset."

"Well, I suppose you would be quite a bit faster that way, but you're still a week or two behind them, and you'll be on your own until you catch up. It's dangerous out there. Maybe you ought to leave the women with us and wait for us up ahead at the fur trader's post that we heard about."

Inger would not hear of it. "I'm going with my husband to find our son."

"Ma'am, are you sure you know what you're getting into out here?"

"No, maybe I don't, but my place is at my husband's side. We need to find Adam. He's only five years old. He needs his family."

"Well, good luck to you then, and may God bless you and keep you."

With that, Ben climbed up onto the wagon seat next to Hiram as Inger climbed into the back of the wagon. Two other wagons were going with them. They were men who wanted to get to Oregon faster than the wagon train was moving. Hiram wasn't much of a shot but he and Inger could load rifles and pistols during an attack. There were five men who could shoot. Ben had to hope that it would be enough if they faced any serious trouble. Amazingly, the worst trouble they had was when an extremely large buffalo herd passed across their path. It took hours for all of the animals to trek by them. At the end of the herd, there were a number of relatively isolated stragglers. One of the men with them shot one and they had fresh meat for the next several days. In three weeks, they caught up to the train ahead of them. The wagon master was shocked to see three wagons pull up beside the train where they had formed a circle for the night. The livestock were grazing within the protective circle of the wagons as cookfires were dotted all along the perimeter.

"What in tarnation are you folks doing out here on your own? You trying to get killed?"

"No, sir, we're trying to find my son. He was taken from me back in Galesburg. He was bonded to a family traveling with this train."

The wagon master turned up his nose at that. "Yes, I remember. He was with the Nuss family. Mrs. Nuss and one of her daughters died in a cholera outbreak we had about two weeks ago."

"My son, Adam?"

"Oh, he was already gone."  
"Gone?"

"Yeah, he was lost about two weeks after we left Galesburg. Went out after firewood one evening and that was the last we saw of him. We searched for hours the next morning once Nuss told us he was missing."

"He didn't tell you until the next morning?"

"Yes, he said he thought the boy was hiding so he wouldn't get another tanning."

"Another tanning?"

"Yeah, Nuss was pretty quick to lay the belt to the boy. My wife and some of the other ladies did their best to make sure the boy had enough to eat, but there was nothing we could do about a man disciplining a member of his family."

"He wasn't part of his family."

"Well, legally, he was. We didn't like it thinking he was too hard on the boy. My guess is that the boy run off not knowing that he was in the middle of nowhere with no one out there to help him."

"And you left him behind on his own?"

"Look, mister, I have over one hundred and fifty people to keep alive. It was nearly two hundred before we had the cholera outbreak. We needed to keep moving. We searched and found no sign of him. I couldn't risk all these people to find one runaway as much as I would have liked to. Now, you're welcome to ride with us if you don't make any trouble."

Hiram answered affirmatively for Ben as he and Inger took Ben by the arm and led him back to their wagon. For nearly an hour, Ben sat by his wagon in the dark until Inger came to him and whispered that they could go back to look for Adam.

"Where would we look? And how could a small boy survive out there on his own. He's lost to me, Inger. I lost my son."

One of the men on the train had overheard the conversation. "Mister, the only ones who might help you is the Army. If you went about due southeast, you'd probably get to Fort Childs eventually, but there aren't many settlers out here yet and you could miss it entirely. Otherwise you could head east and try to find him on your own, but it's really dangerous out there. If he's alive, it's because the Indians have him or the Army."

"The Indians wouldn't kill him?" Hiram was surprised not knowing much about any Native American culture.

"Nah, a boy that young they wouldn't hurt. They'd adopt him right into their tribe. Heard about some of that happening in Missouri and Texas. Figured it's probably about the same here. Most of the Army units move around a lot so they might have heard something if he's alive."

"You keep saying if he's alive as if you doubt it."

"Sorry, mister. I know he's your son, but I ain't one to give false hope. Where we lost him was pretty rough country. He seemed like a strong boy, but it's damn dangerous out there for a man much less a boy. Like I said, the Army is your best bet for getting any information, but the troops move around a lot. Might be hard to get the information even if they found him."

Ben wanted to go back to search for Adam but told Hiram that he should stay with the train because it was so dangerous. Hiram countered that it was too dangerous for Inger to be out there on a suicide mission. Ben countered that it was his son and he needed to go, but when Inger told him that she was with child, he didn't know what to do. Finally Hiram's arguments won out. Ben was an inexperienced westerner on his own with thousands of miles to search for one small boy. There were numerous dangers and he would succumb to one of them inevitably leaving his wife and child without a protector and provider. Ben stayed with the train, and when a small group wanted to break off and head to California instead of Oregon, he helped organize the group and lead it. They headed toward California, but ended up spending the winter at the fur trader's post when early snows made travel too difficult. One of the trappers agreed to be their guide in the spring as soon as travel was possible. It was there that Ben met his second son when Inger gave birth. When the women climbed down from his wagon and told him he had a son, he had only one response.

"I have two sons." Then he climbed into the wagon after tamping down once more the pain of the loss he felt every day. He smiled and said all the right things to Inger as she proudly showed him the handsome baby boy with the blond wispy hair and bright blue eyes. That evening as Inger nursed the baby and then fell asleep with him, Ben sat by the campfire staring at his hands. Hiram came up beside him.

"Ben, we can't change the past. Don't live too much with your regrets or you'll lose the best things in your life right now."

"My joy will always be tempered with my regrets, I'm afraid. I should have gone around the Horn to California. I was the intrepid adventurer though and thought I could take my infant son and cross the continent. How foolish I was. Now, I have another infant son and a wife that I must try to get through dangerous lands and across tall mountains to get to California."

"Ben, if you had gone by ship, you would never have met Inger and Eric would never have been born. Can you truly regret that?"

Ben sat silently for a time. "No, I cannot. They are treasures beyond measure. I guess it's that I feel that I betrayed the trust that Elizabeth had in me. I lost the one treasure she left me."

Hiram put his hand on Ben's shoulder. "You're learning how to protect them out here. Working with the trappers as you have this winter, you're acquiring the skills you need to protect and provide for your family. Ben, I predict that you are going to be a great success out here. This land needs a man of vision and strong character. Once the land is more settled and communication becomes easier, we can find ways to search for your son. I'll do all that I can to help with that. If he's alive, we'll find him no matter how long it takes."

"Thank you, Hiram. You've become a good friend. I'll always be here to help you if you need it. I owe you so much."

"We're friends, and that's what friends do. I'll be your friend for as long as you'll have me. Coming west with you has made me feel more alive than I have ever felt. I don't enjoy the danger, but I do appreciate the beauty and the potential out here. I look forward to being a part of making the country grow."

Heartache wasn't finished with Ben yet although he had a peaceful few years. They set off in early spring with high hopes and enthusiasm. That was dashed into the dirt and stomped when Inger was killed in an Indian attack. A woman with the train who had a child old enough to be weaned took over nursing Eric as Ben's grief threatened to overwhelm him. His losses were mounting and now he carried the fear that he would lose his only family, but little Eric was a strong healthy baby and made the mountain crossing into California without any problems.

In California, Ben found work on the ranchos and built up his savings. In the winter months, he did some trapping and made good money doing that. After a few years, he had built up a substantial amount of money and had to decide what to do next. He had a dream of owning his own land with tall trees and mountains that could touch the clouds and had seen such a place when the wagon train had crossed over the Sierras. He decided against all advice that he would go back there, buy land, and make a home. Hiram decided to come with him as did several other families. Ben hired a young man recently arrived from New Orleans as well as a Chinese cook who wanted to get out of California for reasons Ben did not understand, but he cooked well and Eric enjoyed being with him. So Ben ended up beside Lake Tahoe with Hop Sing and Jean de Marigney. They built a log home, a stable, and a storehouse that first year with the trees they cut. In the winter, they ran trap lines. That spring, weary travelers came through on their way to California and wanted supplies. Ben had none for them, but by the following year, he was raising a small herd of cattle that he and Jean drove back from California. He sold beef to the travelers as well as horses that he and Jean caught running wild in the hills, and broke with the help of one of the settlers who needed the money. Ben was well on his way to making an empire in the Sierras.

Most men would have been happy, but Ben was lonely and still mourned the loss of his son and two wives. When Jean died in an accident when a tree bounced back into him after being felled, Ben was forlorn. Hop Sing told him that he had to honor his promise to Jean who had begged him as he lay dying to please go tell his wife that he had always loved her and regretted ever leaving her. Ben reluctantly loaded up packhorses with furs that he could sell as well as taking a small string of horses, and set out on a dangerous cross-country trek with two men he hired. When he arrived in New Orleans, he sold the furs and the horses, paid the two men, and went to find Jean's widow. Ben fell in love with her the moment he met her.

After some danger and some intrigue, Marie became his wife and traveled with him by ship around the Horn and to California and then up and over the mountains to his home. She was impressed by the grand scale of his holdings and repulsed by the relative squalor in which he and the other men lived. She set about making the Ponderosa a more civilized place to live. Eric took to her immediately and only regretted that she decided that he needed some schooling and kept him indoors every morning to learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. Hop Sing was pleased to have someone in the house who appreciated his cooking. He and Marie worked out a division of duties with her baking and Hop Sing doing the cooking and dishwashing. They split duties on cleaning, but Hop Sing did the laundry and Marie did most of the care of young Eric except when Marie went riding.

Within a month of her arrival, Marie announced to Ben that she was with child. When Joseph was born, the men congratulated Ben on having two healthy sons. In his heart, he told himself that he had three sons, but none of the men who worked there then knew his great sorrow. He smiled and accepted their congratulations but similar to how he felt after Eric was born, he remembered even more vividly his son Adam, his hazel eyes that turned colors it seemed depending on mood, time of day, and place, and the questions with which he constantly bombarded and occasionally irritated his father. How Ben longed to hear those questions again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"I have had enough of your questions. We looked long and hard and couldn't find your father. He never made it to California or anywhere else. He's probably dead. I have told you that over and over but you refuse to accept it."

A sixteen-year-old Adam Cartwright stood toe-to-toe with Major Davis who had been passed over again and again for promotion. He had just told Adam that he was going to West Point, and Adam had said he preferred that he travel with the Army expedition that was going to the west to map and eventually would be close to the Spanish territory of California. Adam did not know that Fremont's mapping expedition was a cover to get American troops into the vicinity to help the settlers who planned an uprising against the Spanish government there. Major Davis was not privy to that information either. What he did know was that Adam was brilliant and would impress the instructors at the academy. With a son who was likely to be at the top of his class, Major Davis could only see good things resulting from that. He had gotten an appointment to West Point for Adam Davis even though Adam would tell people that his name was Cartwright. The boy had stubbornly refused for over ten years to accept Major Davis as his father, and usually referred to him as Major or sir. Mrs. Davis had taken good care of Adam but never warmed to the boy and never showed him much in the way of affection. Now that her husband was older and home most of the time having recently returned from a two-year stint in the Nebraska Territory, she had been forced to give up her entertaining of gentlemen which irked her a great deal. The home was filled with loud arguments or long silences. Adam disliked living there but had no other good options. He did want an education but the dream of reuniting with his father was always on his mind. He had been devastated to hear that Major Davis has searched for his father and found no trace. It hurt deeply every time he heard it.

"You searched for my father?" Adam remembered asking that question repeatedly when he was younger always hoping for a different answer and irritating Major Davis every time he asked.

"Of course I did. I told you I would, didn't I? I used every resource the government has to offer and there was no trace of him after he left Illinois. He must have died in that cross-country trek. Thousands did especially back then. It's still dangerous to make the crossing that way."

That usually silenced Adam who would ask why he was never told of the searches taking place on his behalf.

"You are so young, and I didn't want to hurt you."

"What about my grandfather in Boston? Didn't he want me?"

"He's dead. We tried to contact him but received word that he had passed. Now, we are your family. We're the ones who have your best interests at heart, and we'll take good care of you." They had taken care of his physical needs, but Adam often cried himself to sleep at night when he was young, but slowly bitterness replaced the sorrow. Yet when he asked, the answers were always the ones that broke his heart.

Yet somehow the explanations never rang true with Adam and still didn't. There was always a hint of evasion in the Major's explanations to him. The answers were always exactly the same. Mrs. Davis always said exactly the identical things that her husband said. As Adam got older and a bit more experienced with adults, he understood that lies were often that way. Rehearsed and practiced until they were always said with the same words, the same inflections, and the same look. He knew they had lied to him but didn't know how much. He had grown rebellious in spirit if not yet in action, but he did want to go to West Point, and Major Davis must have seen that in his expression.

"So, you see, there's no point in you going even if Fremont would take you. Go to West Point, get your commission, and serve your country. It's what you want, isn't it? You want to study math, engineering, and architecture. There is no better place in the country to learn those things. West Point only teaches practical courses not like those colleges and universities who aim to educate gentlemen with Greek and Latin and all sorts of drivel like that."

So Adam had gone to West Point and studied engineering, architecture, and arithmetic as well as military courses in strategy, logistics, and tactics. As expected, he excelled in all of his studies and was second in his class expected to graduate with honors. Major and Mrs. Davis were exceedingly proud. In April of Adam's senior year, he was surprised to be summoned to the commandant's office. When he arrived, he was even more surprised to see Major and Mrs. Davis there. He saluted the major and the commandant and then waited in respectful silence.

"Your father has informed me, Cadet Davis, that you are needed for a family funeral in Boston. You have one week's leave to attend with your father and mother. Go pack your things and be back here pronto."

Saluting, Adam took his leave and returned a short time later with a small satchel. Major Davis explained as they walked to a waiting carriage. "Your mother's brother has died. He has left his estate to her and to you. You have to be at the funeral and the reading of the will to accept."

"I never knew him, sir. Why would he leave any of his estate to me?"

"To spite me, I think. It doesn't matter. As soon as you accept, we'll take over the management of the inheritance for you. Now, let's get going."

After attending the funeral and the reading of the will, Adam had one day before he was scheduled to return to West Point and graduation that was a month away. He decided to find his mother's grave and his grandfather's to pay his respects. Once he left the hotel, Mrs. Davis was worried.

"What if he finds his grandfather? How will we explain that to him?"

"The man would be ancient if he's still alive. He must be dead. The boy will find the graves and be back here tonight. Meanwhile, let's do some shopping. We're wealthy now with all that your brother left to you and to Adam."

"What if Adam decides to keep his half?"

"He won't. He's too busy with his studies and then he'll be sent off to the west most likely to help pacify the Indians. We'll manage just fine with what we have now. I could even retire and add my pension to the pot."

The Major's confidence was doomed to lead to disappointment though. He should have researched as he had told Adam he had done. Adam went to the cemetery where he found his mother's grave. He read the inscription "Elizabeth Stoddard Cartwright, daughter of Abel, wife of Benjamin, mother of Adam" and nearly cried. Searching diligently though he could find no trace of a grave for Abel Stoddard. Finally one of the men grooming the cemetery grounds asked him if he could help him. When he told him, the man chuckled.

"You won't find Captain Stoddard here except on Sunday mornings after church. He visits his wife's grave and his daughter's like clockwork as long as there's no ice and snow on the paths."

"He's alive?"

"Well, if you call that crotchety, foul-mouthed old sea dog living, then, yes, he is." The man smiled and walked away having done his good deed for the day.

However Adam stood frozen to that spot for several minutes as his mind furiously processed what he had heard. If that was a lie, how much of the rest of the story was a lie. He knew they had lied, but could they have been so cruel as to lie about all of it. He walked to the business district and began asking questions about Captain Abel Stoddard and soon knew where to find his house. By early afternoon, he stood at the end of a walk that led through a meticulously kept yard to an imposing yet modest two story home. Gathering his courage, he walked to the porch and knocked on the door. An old man answered the door and looked at him speculatively.

"Unless they've passed a damn quartering act, I've no room for you here, soldier."

"I am no soldier. I am a cadet at West Point Military Academy, Captain Stoddard."

"Well, how do you know me, boy?" Except, there was something familiar about him. The eyes, the mouth were so familiar even with the serious mien and slowly Abel understood that they reminded him of Elizabeth. He wondered for a moment if some long-lost or distant cousin had shown up. Then the young man spoke.

"I understand why you don't remember me. I believe that I was only a few months old when my father bid you goodbye and set out across the country." Abel stood in shock. He had rarely been rendered speechless in his lifetime but this was one of those moments. Adam was nervous. Ever since he had left that cemetery, he had thought about what he should say when he met his grandfather for the second time although he didn't remember him from the first time of course. He couldn't see any resemblance to the old man standing in front of him so stiffly and staring at him as if he was a ghost or some other macabre manifestation. He kept talking because he didn't know what else to do. "I was told that you were dead. Until today, I had no way to verify that information which does appear to be erroneous. I am truly sorry if I have shocked you, but I'm due to leave tomorrow to return to the Academy."

"Adam!" It was one word but it was a powerful one linking the young man to his grandfather that he had thought lost forever. Abel Stoddard had not hugged another man in nearly twenty years. He had thrown his arms around Benjamin Cartwright wishing him well as his son-in-law set off on his quest to fulfill his dream of reaching the land with tall trees and mountains that touched the clouds. He was not prone to physical displays of affection but all that he thought at that moment was that he had to hug his only grandson. He opened his arms to the young man who nearly fell into his embrace.

"Thank God, you're alive, Grandfather."

"Who the hell told you I wasn't?"

So Adam told the story of how he left the wagon train to escape Mr. Nuss only to be rescued by Pawnee Indians who delivered him to the Army encampment. He told of how he was taken in by Major Davis and his wife and raised as their only son. "They told me over and over again that they had searched and found that you had died and that there was no trace of my father."

"The scoundrels! The dirty black-hearted scoundrels! Son, your father is alive. He was devastated when you were taken from him and then lost. He went to find you but by the time he caught up to the wagon train, you had run away. They couldn't tell him exactly where, and in those thousands of miles of wilderness, he didn't know where to look. He tried over the years to find out about you as did I, but there was no record of a boy being found anywhere near where you had been lost."

Suddenly Adam understood why Major Davis had never formally adopted him and yet required him to use the Davis name absolutely forbidding him ever to use the surname of Cartwright. He had made sure there was no record of his rescue if anyone ever came searching for him. If he had been able to use his given name, that was all that the searchers would need in order to locate him.

"Where is my father? Is he in California?"

"No, he was there but moved to Nevada Territory. He's building quite an empire out there from what I've been told and he keeps adding to it. Makes money hand over fist but poor man can't keep a wife by his side."

"So Inger has died?"

Abel saw the look of sadness pass over the boy's face when he confirmed that news. "Aye, I'm sorry to have to tell you such sad news. Your father married a third time too, and that one died just a couple of years ago. Each one gave him a son before passing though. Boy, you have two brothers. Eric is about six years younger than you and Joseph is about twelve years younger than you."

For a moment, Adam had an air of wonder about him. "So I have two brothers. Eric is about fourteen then and Joseph about eight. It seems rather weird if wonderful to have family and some that I've never known existed."

"Oh, where are my manners? Come on in, boy, come in. There's so much I want to show you and talk about with you."

"I will, but first I need to speak with Major Davis and his wife."

"I'm coming with you. I can't have found you only to lose you to prison for murdering the bastard. Let me get my cane." Abel called out for his housekeeper telling her to fix a big dinner for him and his grandson. She frowned because she thought that his grandson was dead. She saw the young man in uniform at the door and wondered at what was going on. "I'll explain it all when we get back. Air out a bedroom upstairs. I think the boy may need a place to stay for a few days." Then he grabbed his hat, coat, and walking stick joining Adam for the walk to the hotel. They had only gone a block when Adam asked if Abel knew a good attorney whom he could trust. They stopped at the attorney's office and Adam conducted his business leaving there in an hour more resolute than ever. As he and Abel continued their walk, they used the time to share details of their lives for the nearly twenty years they had been separated. Then they stopped at the door of the hotel where Adam was going to confront the couple who had deceived him for so long. Abel put a hand on Adam's shoulder.

"Don't worry so much, boy. I've got your back, and they're in my town now."

With a grim smile, Adam nodded. The conversation might be necessary but he suspected it would be bitter. He walked to the desk and asked if Major Davis and his wife were in their room. Assured that they were, Adam climbed the stairs with his grandfather at his side. He knocked on the door of Major Davis' room and waited for a response. The Major opened the door with a big grin that faded a bit at seeing the older man standing with Adam.

"Adam, we were waiting for you. We're celebrating our good fortune."

Adam did not enter the room remaining in the doorway. "It would be like you to celebrate the death of another human being."

"Do not speak disrespectfully to me. I am a Major in the United States Army which you are about to join and I am your father."

"No, you are not my father any more than the men parading through your wife's bedroom were my uncles. You are a liar and a scoundrel. Let me introduce my 'deceased' grandfather. You so often told me you had searched and that he was dead. Imagine my surprise today to find him alive and well and thinking that his only grandchild was lost."

"Adam, let me explain. There were reasons for us to do what we did. It was for you."

"No, it was for you. Everything is always for you and for her. Not any more."

"Adam, soon you will have a commission in the United States Army because of me. You already have money from her brother's estate. Don't let this one little thing come between us like this."

"There is no us. I will be staying here with my grandfather and then I will be journeying west to find my father and brothers. Yes, my father is alive and apparently fairly well-to-do as well as well-known. That's another set of lies you told me. Oh, and before I go. I have hired a lawyer to place my inheritance in a trust for the orphans and foundlings homes in the city here. It seems a far better use for it than letting you squander it. Good day, and good bye."

"No, wait! You can't do this to us after all we did for you. You would give up the commission you worked so hard to get?"

"You wanted the commission. I wanted the education. I got it. Now, I'll use it as I see fit."

"You can't do this. I'll go to court and have myself appointed as the executor of your inheritance. You're only twenty."

"Yes, and you never formally adopted me. My blood relative here is my grandfather who has already agreed to be the executor of my inheritance. You're in his town now. Do you really want to air your dirty laundry in a courtroom here?"

Adam turned on his heel and walked away. With a smirk at Major Davis, his grandfather turned and proudly walked with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Little Joe, you are too young to go on a cattle drive. Eric is six years older and tall for his age. He can do this. You cannot."

"Pa, I bet I could do it too. Pa, what's a cattle drive?"

"We ride horses and we make the cattle go a long distance. That's how I got the first cattle here. Now with the demand for food in California so high, we're going to drive a herd over there and sell them. We ought to be able to get a great price. That will allow us to buy more land and raise even more cattle in the future."

"Why do people in California want to eat our cows?"

"It's the Gold Rush, son. Thousands and thousands of people are pouring into the state and there isn't enough food for all of them. We're going to help out with that and we'll get paid very well for our trouble."

"What trouble?"

"Well, that's a way of describing the cattle drive. It will be weeks of riding all day long, sleeping on the ground at night, and putting up with rain, wind, and all sorts of weather."

"I could do that, Pa. It sounds a lot better than staying with Mr. and Mrs. Wood while you're gone. She's gonna make me do sums and reading and spelling and all that stuff even though it's summer. I know she will, and she doesn't cook near as good as Hop Sing either."

"You will be respectful of the Woods. They will take good care of you as they did the last time I left you with them when Eric and I had to take a trip to sell the furs we had and make arrangements for this drive. They are good friends of ours and have been for some time."

"How could that be? They just got here a few months ago." Eric was surprised at that too.

"We came west together. When I left California to come here, it was wilderness and Hiram wouldn't have been able to make a living here. Now that the area is growing, he's decided to make this his new home with his family. Eric, you remember Hiram from our time in California, don't you?"

"Sorta, I guess. Pa, I was pretty young when you moved from there to here. Pa, and what did he mean when he said he still prays for your son? Which one of us is he praying for, and why do we need the prayers?"

"Eric, he was talking about Adam. He was with me when I tried to find him. He knows how badly I felt when I couldn't find any trace of him. I guess we both hold some hope that somehow he survived, and we pray that he has a good life even if it isn't with us. We have worked over the years to find some sign of him, but there has been nothing."

"Why wouldn't he come find us, Pa?"

"Little Joe, he was only five when he was lost. I don't know if he has enough memories to know how to find us."

"When I was five, I bet I knew enough to find my way home."

"Maybe so, but you didn't have to come over a thousand miles to find it."

"Wow, a thousand miles. That's a lot, isn't it?"

"Yes, a lot."

And once more Ben was reminded of his dark haired son with the hazel eyes who had asked so many questions and always tried so hard to do his best. He wondered where he could be and what kind of life he had because he had to believe that he was alive somewhere. He couldn't bear the thought that he had died. He escorted Little Joe into the house to pack up his clothing for a long stay with the Wood family. He gave Little Joe a ride over to the Wood home and bid him goodbye. As he left, he heard Little Joe asking about Adam. He was very curious about the older brother he had never met. Ben didn't even have a picture to show him. He had learned from that lapse and had portraits of both of his younger sons.

When he returned home, he helped Eric pack up his saddlebags for the trip and get his gear together. Eric didn't like wearing chaps but Ben told his son that he would need them especially in the brush they would find in the mountain valleys. That night, he and Eric had a big dinner as Hop Sing cooked his last meal at home. All future cooking would be done on the trail. Breakfast the next morning was ham and biscuits left over from dinner the night before. Hop Sing was looking forward to the trip hoping to visit with relatives in California. Ben had found out that he had been unjustly accused of stealing all those years before. No one would remember a ten-year-old charge like that so Hop Sing was relaxed about returning. Their foreman was staying with some of the older hands to take care of the stock and the remaining cattle. The foreman at the timber camp would handle anything that came up there while they were gone. Ben was nervous about being gone from the ranch for so long, but he needed to be on the cattle drive to make the sale at the end.

The drive was a learning experience for all involved. No one had ever done one before so they didn't know about scouting ahead for grazing areas and water. They learned that they needed to do that so one man was assigned as the scout. Then they found that they lost some cattle into side canyons and lagging so far behind that they were left behind. Ben assigned men to ride at the tail end of the herd to keep the stragglers going and to look into any canyons or valleys for strays. By the time they reached California, they had a good system going with the most skilled riders riding at the head of the column and at the sides with the least skilled riders at the rear. They didn't use the terms lead, flank, and drag until years later when some cowboys from Texas signed on to work on the Ponderosa.

Ben was amazed at the growth he saw in the area around what was now being called Sacramento. He met with John Sutter's son and namesake and from him found that if he could get the lumber across the mountains, he had a market for it. The rapidly expanding city needed as much lumber as it could get especially with periodic flood damage and several fires that they had already endured as well as the rapid growth.

"John, I am amazed at what I see here. I heard about this but never envisioned this."

"Yes, it seems the population grows each day."

"How is your father, John? This must be terribly upsetting to him."

"More than that. He's very angry. He feels that he's lost it all. He's lost the land, his lumber mill, his power, and his dreams. None of his plans mean anything any more. Even his plan to build Sutterville is gone. With Sacramento here, no one is interested in creating another city nearby."

"Can't he adjust to this new reality?"

"No, he's handed off the responsibilities to me. I'm adjusting but it's simply not in his character to do that. Now, you are adaptable to changing circumstances. Driving a herd here shows that. There's a cavalry unit encamped nearby and they have been looking to buy horses. If you're interested in branching out to sell horses to the Army, you should go see Major Bannister."

After thanking John for the tip, Ben turned to Eric who had tagged along with his father and heard everything. The teen wondered how they were going to do everything that needed to be done to satisfy all the requests that had been made.

"Eric, I'm going to depend on you to start sharing more of the work load and learning how to take care of some of these things. The first thing you can do to help is to wander through this area and listen to see if there are any men who seem discouraged by the daily grind of trying to find gold and despairing that they ever will. If you hear anyone talk like that, engage in conversation with them and take the measure of the man. We need more men to work the Ponderosa. I would like to take some men back with us. If they want a regular paycheck, a place to sleep, and three meals a day, and if you think they're upright men, tell them we might have a place for them and bring them to here to meet me later for the final decision."

After watching his young but tall, broad son head off to talk with some men, Ben went to meet with Major Bannister who was the commanding officer of the unit camped there wondering if he could make a deal to sell horses to the Army. After introductions were made, the Major got right to business. Ben liked his no nonsense approach.

"How many can you get for us, Mr. Cartwright?"

"Wild, I can get as many as you want. If they have to be broken to the saddle and trained, then I could probably only supply about twelve to twenty per year. I only have one man who is good at breaking horses."

"How many could you supply that are only greenbroke?"

"Probably forty to sixty horses depending on how greenbroke you want them."

"I would like them not to buck my men off when they begin to train them."

"I could supply forty at most at that stage."

"I'll write up a contract for thirty and some beef. If you can deliver on time and per the contract, you could expect annual contracts at least until there's some competition out here. We'll take any horses above and beyond the contract that are trained to that same level."

"Thank you. That is very fair."

"I know you could charge exorbitant prices, but I heard what you charged for the cows you brought in. My cook bought some. The price was premium but not gouging. In this market, you could have gotten twice that. I believe you are a fair man but a good businessman. I would be honored to work with you."

"Thank you, sir. Let's sit down and work out the details then."

By that evening, Ben had contracts for beef and horses to sell to the Army, a lead on a freight company that might be willing to haul lumber, and contacts for more beef that he could bring the following spring. He began to think about how he could expand the cattle herds in order to have more to sell as well as hiring some men to work the timber camps that winter in order to have wood for the lumber mill to cut until the following spring when freight wagons might be able to pick it up and haul it to California. He wouldn't make much money on the lumber, but it would give him work so that he could keep the more experienced wood cutters employed full time. That would put him in a good position when Eagle Station and the other small communities began to grow and he was sure that they would.

By the time Ben got back to where he had told Eric to meet him, Eric was there with several men. Ben talked with them and hired four. The fifth man seemed more interested in getting a stake so he could go back to hunting gold. The others were tired of it and longed for regular meals and a place to sleep without worrying about someone assaulting them for the gold they had found which was usually a pittance and only enough to buy enough food to stay alive. Ben treated them all to a hot beef stew with potatoes dinner that Hop Sing had cooked up. They loaded up with some additional supplies and began the trek home. By the look on their faces after dinner, they were happy with their decision. Ben issued each of them a warm blanket and told them they would ride in the wagon on the way back. He would train them to ranch work once they were back on the Ponderosa.

Once they were back home, Eric was anxious to go get Little Joe. He missed his younger brother. Ben said they would go as soon as Eric got the new men settled in the bunk house. He hurried to do that as Ben smiled. With Eric doing things like that, it would only be a short time before the men realized he was more than the boss' son. They would start taking orders from him when he was ready to give them. Hop Sing was back in his kitchen grumbling about the dust as he set about putting supplies away and cleaning up the kitchen. Ben said they would be back by dinnertime and headed out with Eric to get Little Joe. As soon as they arrived at the Wood home, Little Joe came running from the house to jump into his father's arms.

"Pa, Mrs. Wood said I'm sprouting up like a weed. How much taller am I than when you left? I bet I'm a lot taller, ain't I, Pa? Next time you do a cattle drive, I'll be as big as Eric is now and I can go along, right, Pa?"

"Little Joe, you are not going to catch up to Eric in less than a year. You may never be as tall as Eric. He's taller by a head than any of the boys his age. When you're fourteen, we'll talk about you going on a cattle drive. Until then, you will stay at home. A cattle drive is a dangerous thing to do, and you have to be more skilled and stronger than a boy to do the job. Now let's go thank Hiram and his family for watching over you, and then once you pack your things, we'll head on home."

Little Joe was disappointed in his father's final word about the cattle drive, but he was very happy about going home with his father and brother. He looked forward to seeing all the hands and having Hop Sing's cooking again. It was a very pleasant time for the family.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Adam, what you are proposing is risky, and how will you support yourself as you travel?"

Only two weeks after being reunited with his grandfather, Adam had informed his grandfather that he thought he would join a wagon train that was headed to California. Most of the people going were planning to search for gold. Adam was going to find the rest of his family.

"Yes, I am aware of the risks, but passage by sea is too expensive. I need to leave soon too. The people are scheduled to be at the jumping off point in St. Joseph by the end of May if they want to be through the mountains before the heavy snows arrive. People have heard of the Donner party and don't want to end up like them. If I don't go now, I'll have to wait another year."

"Let me pay for the train fares from here to St. Joseph."

"Grandfather, you don't have to do that. I can work my way there."

"I heard that same argument from your father. It didn't work out well for him. Now let me do this, please. Someday, everything that I have will be yours. Consider this the first part of your inheritance." Adam nodded and smiled. "I know you will have to travel light, but please take that picture of your mother that I have. And if I could be so proud or vain, would you take the one of me as well. I would like to know that at least that is with you for your journey. You'll need a horse and saddle too so let me pay for that as well."

"Grandfather, that is too much."

"Grandson of mine, you must start to understand that there is nothing that is too much when a grandfather sees his only grandchild standing in front of him about to go off on an adventure full of risks and possibilities. You let me purchase clothing for you. Now let me do the rest. I know it may be the last time that I see you, so let it be a good time."

"Thank you, Grandfather. Grandfather, I love you." The words came out very softly and Abel could tell how Adam struggled with admitting his feelings. Abel felt much the same way. He told Adam that he loved him but found his voice catching as he did so. A week later, he stood on the platform at the train station and saw Adam off on a journey that hopefully would take him to his father and brothers. For three weeks, Abel had been writing in his journal describing conversations with Adam, things the boy did and said, as well as his hopes and dreams. That journal had become the most precious possession Abel had. He had one more entry to make, and then until he died, it was the one thing that he read through every day until the pages were dog-eared and some were smeared by the tears he shed. No matter how worn the journal became, it remained more valuable than a cargo of gold to Abel Stoddard.

Travel went well for Adam who arrived in St. Joseph in plenty of time to sign on with the wagon train. He needed a horse first though and was given directions to a place where he could buy one. He planned to buy a saddle with money his grandfather had given him to outfit himself for the journey west. When he got to the corral where he had been told horses were for sale, he was fascinated as he watched men breaking horses. He had heard of this but never seen it done. One of the men at the corral noticed his interest and asked if he knew how to break horses.

"I don't but I ride well and I think I could learn to break horses."

"You're young and strong too by the look of you, but you would be more likely to break some bones. If you want to give it a try though, the boss is in that tent over yonder. If he gives you the say so, we'll tell you what you have to do and give you a go at it."

After walking to the tent, Adam wasn't sure how one went about asking for admission. Finally, he simply stated his name and what he wanted to do. A broad powerful man emerged and looked him up and down.

"Well, you got the look of a horseman, but you say you've never ridden a bronc before?"

"No, sir, I have not, but I learn fast with most things."

"Well, I'll let you give it a try. At least you might tire them out a mite for the others. They're easier to break when they're tired. Go on over and tell the men that I gave you the say so to give it a try."

Smiling, Adam shook the man's hand and walked to the corral to talk with the man who had sent him to the tent. He was told what to do and how to do it.

"All right now, you're up next. Remember what I told you."

On that first horse, Adam lasted about five seconds before he was dumped on his butt. The men laughed but not as much as they might have. Most beginners were thrown as soon as the horse was released. He had stuck much longer than that. He dusted himself off and walked over to the men who were still chuckling.

"What did I do wrong?"

"You mean other than being dumped on your ass in the dirt?" Adam shrugged. Then they told him. "You got to keep your legs moving and work against the movement of the horse but not too much. Watch the next rider. He's the best one here." A short time later, Adam rode another horse and stuck in the saddle much longer before being thrown. Again he asked what he had done wrong. The men began coaching him in the finer points of breaking horses. After an hour, one of the men went to get the owner of the operation.

"Boss, you gotta come see this. That kid is a natural. He's already rode two horses to a standstill and he's about to go up on another one. He's gonna be the best one here if he keeps learning as fast he done so far."

Skeptical at first, the owner walked to the corral fence and waited for Adam to ride. He did and brought the horse to a standstill sliding off its back once it was bracketed by two riders. He walked away as if he had been doing this for years. The owner was impressed but smiled a bit too.

"Let him do some more but not more than ten rides. He's gonna be sore tonight but I don't want him so stiff and sore that he can't work tomorrow."

"Yeah, we wondered about that too. He doesn't know how to pace himself."

"He'll learn. I have a feeling he learns things very quickly. Find out if he wants to keep working with us. We could certainly use him here."

For two weeks, Adam worked at breaking horses. He had bruises, scrapes, and an occasional bloody nose, but no serious injuries. He was stiff and sore every morning but none were as bad as that first morning. The men told him how to deal with that too. In the evenings, they began teaching him how to draw and shoot telling him that accuracy was great but in the west, speed was equally important because dangers could appear suddenly and without warning. One had to be ready. At the end of the two weeks, he declined an offer to keep working there explaining that he was going to join his family in Nevada. He took his pay and bought two horses, a saddle, and other gear that he needed as well as ammunition, four knives, and a bolt of red cloth. He had an idea that he would be giving two knives and the cloth away. He had heard that Indians sometimes came up to trains and demanded payment for travel across their lands. If the Pawnee came up to them that way, he wanted to be ready and asked around to find what kinds of things they might value a great deal. A few weeks into their journey, a band of Pawnee spread out across the path of the wagon train. The Pawnee didn't war on the whites so the wagon master was going to pay them the usual sugar and coffee payment. Adam asked if he could ride out to talk with them.

"Don't you make no trouble. Just give 'em the coffee and sugar."

"I have a few other things for them. They will not be angry." Adam gathered his items and rode out to the Pawnee. They were surprised to see such a young man approaching them and grew wary until he drew up his horse and started talking. "I have coffee and sugar for you from the wagon train. I have two knives and red cloth from me."

"Why would you give us knives and red cloth?"

"When I was a boy, five Pawnee warriors rescued me and turned me over to the Army. I've come to pay my debt to them. I don't know their names, but I know they were Pawnee."

One of the warriors rode over and took a good look at Adam. "Ah, the young fierce one with no fear. You ate with us and did not talk too much." Adam handed over the two knives. The warrior pulled one from the leather scabbard and nodded as he saw the good quality of the steel. He slipped it back inside the leather and took the bolt of cloth from Adam. "You are a good man. I am glad we saved you when you were a boy." He signaled then for one of the men to ride up. The man had an antelope slung over the back of his horse. He motioned for the man to hand that to Adam. "Teach these white people how to make a fire. Only enough to cook and keep warm and not to light the night." Adam thanked him, nodded, and wheeled his horse to return to the wagon train as the Pawnee rode out of sight.

"Damn, maybe we ought to have you talk to all the Indians we see on the way."

"These were the only ones I knew. It won't work that well again. We have fresh meat for dinner though."

There were no more troubles from Indians on the trip, but there was still quite a bit of trouble. The next problem was outlaws. A band rode into the camp one afternoon and surrounded a number of people. Holding pistols to the heads of women and children, the five men demanded that the wagon master hand over his strong box containing the money he would use to pay the scouts as well as to buy necessary items as they traveled especially once they got to Salt Lake City and had a chance to resupply. They also confiscated some whisky that was in the wagon master's wagon.

"Without that money, some of these people are going to die." The wagon master knew that it would make no difference but thought it had to be said.

"It's not too late. They could turn back now."

The tall man spoke with a Swedish accent and suddenly Adam knew who it was. He waited until the men mounted up and rode off before he suggested that they form a posse and go after them.

"It's too dangerous."

"Then I'll go alone."

Three men volunteered to go with Adam. He knew that they did not have wives and children on the wagon train. He nodded and explained what he wanted to do. They moved away from the wagon train and followed the outlaw's tracks. Adam told them that they didn't want to get too close until that night. "Then we'll wait for their fire to guide us in. They'll have a big fire and sit way back. It will light the night. We'll be able to see them but they won't be able to see us." It worked as Adam planned it. They got close to the outlaws camp and Adam slipped through the darkness and led their horses away before coming back and firing a shot into the camp as he yelled to the outlaws to stay away from their weapons and away from the fire. One of the outlaws moved toward the fire intent on knocking it down and perhaps dousing it but a shot from another direction froze him almost in mid-step.

"We have men on each side of your camp. We can see all of you quite well. One of you needs to carry the money from the strong box this way and set it down. You, Gunnar Borgstrom, bring the money this way."

Shocked that anyone knew his name, Gunnar complied. He wanted to know who had thwarted his plans and knew who he was. He saw Adam. "Who you be to know my name?"

"Adam Cartwright."

"Adam Cartwright is dead."

"Then consider me your nightmare."

"We will be your nightmare. We will come after you and you will pay for this."

"Oh, I think perhaps that won't happen. You'll have to run to keep up with us."

Gunnar turned then to where the horses had been tied. Even in the darkness, he could see that the horses were gone. "You can't leave us here with no horses. We'll die."

"It's not such a long walk back. We'll leave you your weapons and any food you have. The horses go with us. On foot, you won't be able to harm anyone else. If you ever come after me, I'll kill you."

The coldness in his voice convinced Gunnar not to argue. It would be a difficult few weeks, but they could get more horses. "All right, we do it your way. You be careful though. Someday maybe you meet someone not so reasonable as me, yah?"

"Maybe, but not today. Walk back to the fire and stand there."

Gunnar and the others never knew when their opponents left. After several minutes, Gunnar sat down and took a big swig of whisky. "We should drink this. I don't think we are going to like carrying it when we have to walk back."

"Who was that man? He seemed to know you."

"He did once. My sister married his father. His father beat me once, and now the son has done it. I think I will stay far away from these Cartwrights especially that one."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Eric, I want you and Hank to ride into town to see if there are any men who would be interested in working here to break some horses. With Tucker hurt, we're going to have a heck of a time making that second Army contract."

"Pa, I could do it."

For a moment, Ben considered letting Eric try his hand at breaking horses, but then common sense prevailed. Eric was too precious to risk. Tucker was experienced and had broken his arm. Certainly it would be much more dangerous for an inexperienced youth even one big for his age and willing to try. "No, Eric, I would rather lose the contract than lose a son. You and Hank just go do what I asked."

Within a few hours, Eric and Hank were in town frustrated at not being able to find a man to work with the horses. There was one place left to look. They walked to the saloon. Inside four men were playing poker. Eric went up to them to ask if they were interested in a job breaking horses.

"Kid, does it look like we're interested in working with your stinking horses. Now get away from me before I hafta knock some sense into your head."

"Mister, no need to be nasty about it. I only asked a simple question."

There was some commotion in the street. Hank looked out to see wagons and riders coming down the street. "C'mon, Eric. We got some people moving through to California, looks like. Maybe we can convince one of them to stay."

Eric turned, but he had irritated the man at the table. "Boy, you got no right to talk back to me. You apologize or meet me in the street to learn some manners."

"I rightly don't want to meet you in the street, but I ain't apologizing. I didn't say nothing wrong."

The other men at the table tried to dissuade the antagonistic man to settle down. "C'mon. The boy didn't mean no harm. I got a good hand and I'd like to play it out."

"It ain't worth it. He's just a kid."

"He's a kid with a big mouth. I want that apology, and I want it now."

Hank was getting worried as the situation escalated. "C'mon, Eric, just say you're sorry and let's get out of here."

"Hank, I'll leave with ya, but I ain't gonna say I'm sorry when I didn't do nothing wrong."

"Boy, that Cartwright pride of yours is going to get you into some serious trouble here if you don't back down some."

Three men entering the saloon quickly assessed the situation and two moved along the bar to get away from where trouble might explode at any moment. The third was a dark-haired young man with a pistol rig slung low on his hip. He had heard Cartwright and nearly froze. He stared at the young man at the center of the tension realizing that he wasn't so much a man as a large youth. He stepped to one side and waited to see how things would play out.

"Boy, you meet me outside and we'll settle this."

"Then it's gonna be a fist fight. I don't have a gun."

"You better get one, or I'll shoot you down like a dirty mad dog, you filthy stinking piece of shit."

Adam could see Eric's temper rise. It was what the man at the table wanted. He was in control of the situation now, and Eric's future was definitely in jeopardy. The older man with him didn't look to be the type who could help much against the surly man with three friends who could back him up. There was only one thing he could think to do.

"I already have a pistol, mister. Would you like to try your hand against me, or do you prefer taking on boys so you know you can't lose. Seems a cowardly way to do things."

Adam had interfered and thrown in an insult for good measure to make the man's attention shift completely from Eric to him. He said it all very calmly but in that serious low voice that more than anything told the men at the table that it was a dangerous man they faced.

"This ain't any of your business, mister, and there's no need to be insulting. I took enough of that from this boy."

Silent and waiting, Adam stared at the man trying to determine if he would back down or make a move indicating what his next action would be. Eric didn't have experience in such encounters and nearly created a disaster as he turned to walk toward Adam. Hank grabbed his arm to pull him back.

"Hank, I can take care of myself. It ain't his fight."

"Eric, he made it his fight, and anything you do now could only put him at risk. Let's just back away and see how this plays out."

Adam never looked at Eric nor responded in any way to what he had heard. He was aware of where everyone in the saloon was but his focus was mainly on the man who had tried to steer Eric into a fight. That man suddenly was apologetic and Hank didn't trust it and neither did the young man who had stepped in to be a hero. He kept his stance and waited. When the man's act didn't fool anyone, the man said he would meet Adam in the street. He hoped that Adam would turn and that's when the man intended to draw. Adam's stare never wavered however even as he backed toward the door. The man needed his friends' help and decided to make a move. He began to draw but before he cleared leather or Eric's warning was yelled out, Adam drew and had his pistol aimed at the man's chest. Everyone froze in place.

"Now, you have one choice left to make. You can continue this and I'll have to shoot you, or you can lay the pistol on the floor very gently and then get out of here."

With his eyes focused on the pistol aimed at his chest, the man very gingerly pulled his pistol and acted as if he was going to concede and lay it down. At the last moment, Adam saw his knuckles turn a bit white as he grasped the pistol more firmly. As soon as the man began to raise the pistol to shoot, Adam fired throwing the man back. He lay on the floor, gurgling as he tried to breathe. Adam's pistol had swung to the other three men at the table who had all begun to reach for their pistols.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You wouldn't want to end up like that one. Take your hands away from your pistols, take your money, and pick him up and take him out of here. If there's a doctor, maybe he can do something for him. I do suggest you might want to leave town soon."

Behind him, Adam heard a shotgun being closed. "I got your back boy. You men best do as he says. I don't need any more trouble from you."

Once the three men had collected their friend and carried him out, Adam turned to the bartender to thank him. "Name's Sam. You and your two friends get a free beer if you want one. Those four men have driven the rest of my business away for the last week. I'd like to pay you for the service but all I can afford is a free beer."

"We'll take it. We came in here because we were thirsty. I've got a lot of trail dust to wash down." As Adam stepped to the bar, Eric approached him.

"Thanks, mister. You wouldn't be interested in work, would you? We got some horses that need breaking. The man who done it for us broke his arm."

Knowing who the young man must be, Adam acted as if he was thinking about his proposal. He had been wondering for some time how he was going to approach his father's home and meet the brothers he had never met. The opportunity had presented itself. "I have some experience doing that. I'll take your job as soon as I have my beer."

Hank realized that the man was much younger than he had thought. He wondered how he could be that good with a gun at his young age. "We don't need no gunplay on the Ponderosa though. You'll need to keep that in mind."

"It's a tool. I only use it when it's what's necessary to get the job done. You won't find me looking for a fight, but I won't back away from one either."

"Fair enough. Your two friends need work too?"

"You'll have to ask them. Originally they were intending to head to the gold fields, but lately they have heard that isn't such a great option."

"No, it isn't. Most aren't making much more than what they need to buy supplies. The gold that was easy to find is gone. Most will eventually have to move on to some other job or work for one of the companies moving in to take over the mining business there."

Adam looked to his two friends. They nodded and he turned to Hank. "We'll come with you. We only have to get our things from the wagon." Adam and his friends walked out to the wagon master's wagon to tell him they were staying. He thanked them for their service and dug out the money to pay them from the strong box. He threw in a bonus.

"I wouldn't have had any money to pay anyone if you hadn't got the money back from those outlaws. Your hunting skills helped us with our food supply too. You deserve these bonuses and if you ever need work again, you be sure to look me up."

The three men thanked him as well, took their belongings, and the horses they had taken from the outlaws and prepared to leave with Eric and Hank who asked where they had gotten the extra horses. One of the men told them the story emphasizing especially how Adam had orchestrated the whole thing like an Army maneuver. Hank was even more impressed with the young man and wondered too why he looked so familiar even though he had just arrived. It wouldn't make sense until much later that day. Once they were on the Ponderosa, Hank and Eric led the men to the corral by the stable so they could put their extra horses there and then had them stow their gear in the bunkhouse. They headed to the breaking corral then because Hank and Eric wanted to see Adam's horse breaking skills. There were several horses there ready for him. His two friends saddled up one of them and held him for Adam to climb on. He rode that horse to a standstill and slid off. Eric cheered the ride and waited to see the next one. Not only was Adam better than Tucker at breaking horses, he had a style that made it fun to watch him at work.

Adam was working on the fourth horse and about ready to ride when Ben returned to the ranch and heard the yelling. He recognized his sons' voices and rode to see what was causing all the excitement. The third horse was being recalcitrant so Adam waited patiently for them to secure the saddle on him. Little Joe saw his father riding up and ran to him.

"Pa, ya gotta see the man Eric and Hank brought here to break horses. He's really good, Pa. Really good! He broke three horses and he's only been here an hour."

"Three? That was a morning's work for Tucker."

"Yeah, but this man only rides them once. He hasn't been bucked off even once."

"I see he's riding that big chestnut this time. He'll be bucked off that one. No one's going to tame him. We're probably going to have to let that one go."

Finally Adam was able to get in the saddle on the big chestnut. When the horse was released, he gave Adam a furious ride but he hung on. He almost managed to get the horse to a standstill until suddenly a booming voice joined the chorus of those cheering him on. He lost his concentration and his seat in the same second. He stood and took a look around the corral fence seeing his father standing with Eric and a much younger boy. Adam dusted off his pants and told the men to get the horse ready again. He meant to ride him to a standstill. He heard his father yell out that he could wait until the next day. He couldn't respond as he felt his chest get tight and tears threatened to fall. He focused that emotion into a fierce determination to ride that horse successfully in front of his family. The ride was tumultuous. The horse twisted, bucked, and did anything it could to try to dislodge the rider on his back. He stopped dead still at one point and some of the onlookers cheered but Adam held off the hands who would have come to help him dismount. He knew the horse wasn't beaten but was only working out a strategy to use against him. He didn't relax.

"Pa, why doesn't he get down? He got the horse to stop bucking."

"Little Joe, see how the horse still has his back up some and his ears laid back. He isn't beaten yet and that man knows it. He's waiting to see what the horse will do."

Tucker was there as a spectator by then. "Mr. Cartwright, I ain't never seen a man ride like that before. Looks like you got yourself a new wrangler and horsebreaker."

"It certainly looks that way as long as he doesn't break his neck. He rides like he isn't afraid of anything."

Eric thought about telling his father what had happened in town, but then the big chestnut stallion decided to start fighting again. It was over rather quickly though as Adam was ready for him. The horse gave in to this rider although it would be difficult for any other man to ride him. He stood exhausted and turned his head to look at the rider on his back. Adam stroked his neck.

"Too bad they don't have horse races around here. That's just the sport for you. There isn't another horse near here that could beat you, sport."

Then Adam signaled the two riders over who helped him dismount and took the chestnut horse with the three white stockings to the next corral where he could be groomed, watered, and fed. It was the next step in the training process letting the horses know that they could depend on these men. Ben walked over to Adam and the two men as they looked over the horses Adam had broken that afternoon. He was surprised that Hank and Eric had hired three, but after seeing their skills, he knew he would have to find a place for all three.

"Men, I'm Ben Cartwright. I own this place. What are your names so I can put them in the ledger? Pay is twenty a month with all meals supplied and you've already seen the bunkhouse."

"Shorty Smith."

"Bill Barkley."

The third man hesitated and Ben felt his heart speed up. It couldn't be but the young man reminded him so much of Adam that he felt light-headed. When the dark-haired serious young man spoke, everyone there except Shorty and Bill froze. "Adam Cartwright. It's been a long time, Pa."

Staggered by the statement that this dark haired young man was his long missing son, Ben was steadied by Hank who understood now why the young man had seemed familiar even though he was a stranger. Like almost everyone Ben knew well, he had heard the story of Ben's lost son, and only hoped that this was in fact Ben's son and not some imposter after some Cartwright wealth. Ben was in such shock that he only said the most obvious things.

"Adam, how did you find us?"

"I found Grandfather Stoddard in Boston. He told me where to find you. I worked my way across the country, well, actually, I worked my way from St. Joseph. Grandfather paid for my fares to there."

"Where have you been? What have you been doing? Who took care of you?" Ben reached out to place a hand on Adam's shoulder. He felt the young man stiffen and did no more, but he wouldn't release the shoulder. He needed to touch his son who had been lost to him for so long.

"Those questions are going to take a lot longer to answer."

"Yes, yes, of course. Adam, these are your brothers. This is Eric and this is Little Joe."

"Eric and I are already acquainted though not as brothers until this moment. It's good to meet you, although Eric doesn't seem to suit you. You're as tall as I am already and broader in the shoulders."

"What name would you have given me?"

"Inger told me once that her brother liked the name Hoss because it meant big man in Swedish. You look like a Hoss to me."

"I kinda like it. Pa, how come you didn't name me Hoss?"

"Inger actually suggested it. She reminded me that Adam had liked that name. I couldn't do it though. Eric seemed a more proper name especially for a baby."

"Yeah, Eric, who wants to be called Horse all his life."

"Not Horse, Little Joe. That's silly. It's Hoss."

"And Little Joe, I'm happy to meet you too." Adam put out his hand to his youngest brother who shook it with a weak grip making his indecision on meeting this brother that he had never thought of as real all too apparent.

"It's just Joe." Little Joe looked a little wary of this stranger moving into the family. Adam noticed as did Ben, and Adam said nothing more to him.

"Adam, I thought of you every day. I prayed for your return somehow. Now that you're here, it seems more like a dream. Come to the house. We'll get you settled in and we can talk."

"I already have my things in the bunkhouse."

"My son doesn't have to stay in the bunkhouse. You can stay in the house with us."

"It looks rather small."

"I have been thinking of making it bigger, but I don't know exactly how I could do that."

"I might be able to help with that."

"You might have some ideas, but to build a bigger house than this, we would probably need an architect or at least someone with experience building bigger buildings."

Adam smiled. His father had a lot to learn about him too. "This is a big place. You found your tall trees and the mountains that touch the clouds. This place deserves a house that reaches up to them."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next few hours were awkward as Adam told some of what had happened to him and Ben told some of the family history. Adam's version of his life since he was five was sterile. It was a recitation of how he had been rescued, where he had lived, where he had gone to school, things that he had learned, and almost nothing about the Davises and his time with them. None of the torment he had felt for fifteen years was in those descriptions of his life. He only became animated and smiling when he recounted the time he spent in Boston with his grandfather.

"But why did it take so long for the two of you to be reunited? If you had that memory, it seems that you could have been sent to him shortly after you were found."

"The information I was told was that it was believed that he was dead. It was only when I searched the cemetery for my mother's grave that I realized that there was nothing there for my grandfather. Within hours, I was at his house. We talked a lot, and he gave me some of her things to keep. Do you have the music box yet that I was forbidden to touch?" A little of the anger and bitterness came out with that. Ben heard it but didn't know yet what to make of it. It would be months later when he received Abel's letter that he realized why Adam had so much anger inside of him and why he was so stiff and formal at their first meeting.

"Why didn't you stay and graduate from West Point?"

"That's when I discovered that I had a grandfather, that my father was alive, and that I had two brothers. I had wanted the education and I had it. I didn't want the commission so I left the Academy before graduation."

"What were you doing in Boston if you were a cadet at West Point?"

Adam got that mask over his face again hiding his emotions and thoughts as effectively as anyone could. "Mrs. Davis' brother died and left half of his estate to me. I had to be there for the funeral and the reading of the will in order to inherit. Major Davis made arrangements for me to do that. Then I stayed in Boston and never went back. Grandfather is the executor of that inheritance that I put in trust and he'll follow my instructions. I have no wish to have any of that money."

Once more Ben sensed the bitterness lying below the surface of that statement. His heart ached to know that his son must have suffered emotionally for all those years. He was a young man but the child inside of him was still hurting. Ben wished that he had gone to Fort Childs. Perhaps if he had, he could have found him so much sooner, but he remembered too that he had an obligation by that time to Inger and the baby she carried. No matter what he did, one of his sons would have suffered. Adam saw him lost in those thoughts and asked him to explain so he did a detailed explanation of what he did to find Adam and how frustrated he had been to have no leads, no information to follow. "Adam, we caught up to the wagon train that you were on, but it was a couple of weeks after you had run away. I know you had to get away from that man, and I thank God that you were rescued when so many terrible things could have happened to you."

"You did what you had to do then. It's all over now, and we're all alive and well. I should have stayed with the wagon train. You would have found me then. I'm sorry I didn't. To a five-year-old, running away seemed a good option. Now I know how foolish it was to do that."

"You gonna stay here?" Little Joe had listened to the conversation of his father and his newly arrived oldest brother. He had carried an enormous amount of curiosity about the brother he had never known, and he admired him for the skill he had and the gun he wore. However now he was confronted with a brother who would take a place here perhaps and some of his father's love. His jealousy began to color his thoughts as well as the question he asked Adam who looked at him with interest as well as a fairly good understanding of the jealousy. He had dealt with jealousy in every school he had attended including West Point. He was familiar with how it sounded when couched in even the most innocuous language. He didn't feel that his youngest brother wanted him on the Ponderosa.

"Maybe. I haven't decided yet, and it's not up to me anyway, is it?"

Catching the undercurrents of that conversation quickly, Ben intervened. "Of course it's up to you. This is your home now is you want it to be. We're your family, and I want you to stay."

"Yeah, I want you to stay too. Dadburnit, I might not be alive if it wasn't for you." Then Hoss realized that he would have to explain how he had gotten himself into a potentially fatal situation. He grimaced slightly and glanced at his father who clearly was waiting for an explanation. "I got myself into an argument with a man in the saloon and wouldn't back down. He told me to meet him in the street and I said I didn't have a gun. I don't think that was gonna stop him, Pa. Adam stepped up and told the man to back off. He didn't. He drew on Adam, but Pa, Adam is really fast, like lightning really. He held his gun on the man and told him to put his gun on the floor. That jasper acted like he was gonna do that except he tried to get a shot off instead. Adam shot him, Pa, and then he and Sam sent the other three men packing. That's when I asked him if he knew how to break horses and he said he did, so we ended up out there by the corral where you found us."

"Eric, you and I are going to have a longer conversation about this incident later." Ben's fierce look let Hoss know that it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation for him, but he did have one request.

"Pa, could you start calling me Hoss. I like it, and now that you told me my Ma liked it, I'd like to use that name."

"Your legal given name will always be Eric."

"Heck, I know that, Pa. Hey, did you know that Shorty's real name is Reginald Raymond Ross. He said he doesn't like it so he picked his own name. Said people been calling him Shorty since he was my age so he decided to make it his name instead of an insult. We was talking by the corral some in between Adam riding them horses. He sure does ride real well, don't he, Pa."

Ben saw Adam smile slightly at his younger brother's awkward attempts to be evasive and shift the conversation back to Adam and away from his behavior in town. For the time being, Ben decided to let it work. He did want to talk about Adam more. Hop Sing came out then and announced that dinner was ready. He told them that there were no biscuits because the stove was once again not working properly and he had to cook dinner in the fireplace in the kitchen instead of using the stove.

"What's wrong with the stove?"

"Smoke all time. Not get hot enough sometimes. Very hard to cook. Hop Sing go back China. Too hard to do work here and now family bigger."

"Let me take a look at it." Adam walked into the kitchen as Hop Sing looked to Ben who shrugged. After just a minute, Adam had an answer. "The pipes aren't properly installed. The fire isn't drawing like it should and the smoke can't vent properly. Once the stove is completely cool, I can fix the pipes and make the stove work as it should."

"You fix. I make you big steak for breakfast."

"I like biscuits. If you could make some once the oven heats properly, that would be wonderful." Adam put out his hand for Hop Sing to shake. The cook wasn't used to white men doing that and again looked at Ben to see if it was proper. Ben smiled so Hop Sing smiled too and shook Number One Son's hand.

Hoss had heard the conversation. "Ifn he don't want that steak, I'll take it." That elicited chuckles from all of them as they sat down to dinner. Dinner conversation was about all the business that the Ponderosa was doing. There was the second Army contract for horses with the promise of more business in the future, the fledgling timber and lumber business that produced very little money at that time but was poised to be a money maker in the future, and the cattle which had become a very lucrative business with the Gold Rush in California.

"Yeah, me and Pa are gonna give up running the trap lines in winter. It's hard, dangerous work, and we don't need to take the risks any more."

Soaking up all the information, Adam still had no idea how he would fit into this situation. Hoss gave him his first clue.

"I'm sure glad you're here. Pa's got me doing a lot of stuff around here. I can tell ya that I'm ready to hand off as much of it to you as you want. I ain't cut out to be no boss man. I do it cause stuff has gotta get done, but when it comes to figuring contracts, and board feet of lumber, and all that stuff, I feel right uncomfortable."

"If I stay, I may be able to help with some of that." Again there was that 'if' that made Ben very worried and Hoss almost as much. Little Joe was the only one who took any comfort in it. By the time they stopped talking, the sun was going down. Ben told Little Joe that it was time for bed. Soon after Hoss said he had to go to bed too or fall asleep while he was talking. There was an alcove off the main room with two bunk beds. Hoss had the lower one and Little Joe had the upper one. There was a bedroom and office next to the dining room. Ben said that was where he slept.

"I can work there at night and in the mornings without waking the boys. You're welcome to sleep on the settee until we can fit a proper bed in here for you."

Dubiously eyeing the settee, Adam declined that offer. "I think I'd rather sleep in a bed in the bunkhouse if you don't mind."

"Adam, could we go out on the porch and talk? I think there are things that you and I need to say to one another." Once on the porch, Ben opened the conversation with an admission. "I know I should have found a way to find you. I have to admit, even now, I don't know how I could have done it. I have the feeling that you're angry about that and perhaps you blame me for the hard life that you've had." He saw Adam about to object. "I know that you did. I can tell by how you describe those years. You're holding back because it's not pleasant to talk about it. The only time you opened up was about those three weeks with your grandfather. It breaks my heart to think that those were the only happy times that you had."

"There were some times that I remember fondly. I didn't mind the years at West Point."

"I prayed every day that you had survived and that you had a good life. I know now that only half of that came true. I am so sorry, but you have a home here now and a family. I want you to stay or if you ever have to leave, I want you to know that you can always come back here. It's your home forever."

"I have the feeling that Little Joe doesn't want me here. I don't want to stir up any trouble. He needs you."

"I'd like to think that you still need me too. I love you son. I never stopped loving you. You can ask the hands here. I've told most of them about you. Years ago, I frequently couldn't tell people the story because the pain was so intense. I learned to control it, and I told people that I had a third son. I remember all the questions you used to ask me. I missed those the most."

Not knowing what to say and with his emotions in turmoil, Adam turned to look at the sky. "I still remember most of the constellations. I used to name all that I remembered every time I could see them. I used to wonder if you saw the same stars that I did."

Choked up, Ben could only nod at first, but Adam saw that. It reassured him that he and his father still had a bond. He pointed to a particularly bright star.

"You told me that one was my mother. I prayed to her to take care of you and Inger for a long time. I guess only part of that came true too."

"Yes, life has thrown a lot at us, and yet here we are, together again. Now, it's late, and we should get some sleep. I'd like you to ride with me tomorrow. I'll show you around your home."

"I would like that, Pa, very much."

Ben watched his oldest son walk to the bunkhouse and go inside. He knew that Adam needed him as much as his two younger sons did. He could tousle Little Joe's hair and hug him. He could put an arm around Hoss anytime even if he was getting taller and making that physically more challenging but Hoss would accommodate him. Ben smiled as he realized he had thought of his son as Hoss. He guessed that he had thought of him that way ever since he and Inger had disagreed on his name. He had always been Eric and Hoss. Adam had made a big change in the family already. Ben knew that he needed to show affection to Adam in a different way. A hand on his shoulder seemed not to bother him so he decided that he would try to do that as much as he could. A moment before he walked back to the house, Hank strode out from the bunkhouse. Ben waited because Hank only talked when he thought something important had to be said.

"Evening, Mr. Cartwright. I was wondering if I could have a moment. I wanted to tell you about what happened in town today." Hank told him the story including how his middle son had handled the situation poorly. "He didn't know what he was up against and he just barreled ahead like it didn't matter. Now that other one, and you're sure he's your son?"

Ben nodded and smiled. "When I saw him, I saw Elizabeth. I saw how he stood and those eyes could only belong to one man. After you spend five years so close to someone day and night, you can never forget the little things about them. The one thing that made me sure though was that scar on his lip. When he was about four, he ran after the wagon not knowing I was stopping. I guess he might have been in a panic thinking that somehow I was leaving without him. I only meant to pull the wagon forward a short distance. He ran right into the wagon when I stopped and split his lip open. It scared me because he bled so much, but it healed up fine. That scar was more prominent when he was so small, but it's still there. I couldn't miss it. When he said that I had found my tall trees and the mountains that touched the clouds, I knew without a doubt that this is my son."

"Well, Boss, he's got a hard edge to him for someone so young. The man he shot could die, but it didn't seem to bother him none."

"He's had a hard life, and he just came west with a wagon train. We both know what can happen along the way."

"Yeah, I heard the story from his friends how he led them after some outlaws and got the money back that they stole. Took their horses and left them afoot out on the prairie. He left them their guns and their food, but that's a hard way to act."

"Thank you, Hank. I'll be riding with Adam tomorrow. We'll probably be taking the other two boys with us. By the way, Eric wants to be called Hoss now. I'll explain another time. Right now, we need to get some sleep." But Ben didn't sleep well that night. Regrets, worry, and excitement made sleep elusive until the early hours of the morning.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

At dawn the next morning, Adam was in the kitchen working on the stove. It took him less than an hour to reinstall the pipes to get the draft and venting that the stove needed to work well. Hop Sing watched him work and was very pleased with the result. He had biscuits ready for the oven as soon as it heated up enough for baking. Hop Sing and Adam talked quite a lot about their backgrounds with each other. It was in the kitchen that Ben found both of them later when he came in to get a cup of coffee. Hop Sing was in a better mood than he had been for some time because his life was easier with a fully functional stove. Ben enjoyed the aromas of breakfast and sat at the table where Adam was seated eating biscuits and preserves as he sketched on paper.

"What have you got there?"

"I've been working on some ideas for the house. It's small and as Hoss and Little Joe get older, they'll each want their own room instead of sleeping in an alcove."

"I'd rather hoped that you would want a room here too."

Smiling a bit shyly, Adam nodded. That was what he wanted but he didn't want to be too presumptuous. He slid the paper around so that his father could see what he had drawn. There were exterior views of a larger house, but what surprised Ben the most was that the house was two stories instead of one.

"This looks like you want me to build a new house that looks like this one only bigger and two stories instead of one."

"No, I was thinking that we could literally raise the roof on this one. If all the pieces were cut to size and shaped, the roof could be removed, the walls could be built up and the roof could be put back in one day. It would have to be like a barn raising though with lots of people working."

"Why not simply add on to the existing house?"

"I took a quick look around and there's not that much room behind the house for an easy expansion. If we raised the roof, then there would be room for a stairs and bedrooms could be added to a second floor. The bunkhouse could be expanded out, and there is room for a bedroom behind the kitchen."

That caused a smile from Hop Sing who had been listening. It would be nice for him to have a room instead of a cot in the kitchen that had to be folded away every day. He wondered too at what other ideas the Number One son had. It didn't take long to find out.

"Here, off the kitchen, we could add a washroom. It could be used for laundry as well as for baths and general cleaning up instead of having to do it in the kitchen where food is prepared."

Sitting at the table next to Adam, Ben looked over the plans and smiled. He did think that all of the ideas were sound, but he wondered how they would do all of it. It seemed as if Adam had guessed that he might be concerned.

"If you like the ideas, we can do each part separately so we don't have to incur all the expense at once nor worry about who will do the work. If you wanted these changes, you could set the order except that raising the roof would have to precede the addition of bedrooms and the expansion of the bunkhouse."

"I do like these ideas. I had wanted to expand the house for some time but wasn't sure how to go about it. Like you, I thought the slope at the back would make expansion difficult. I never thought about expanding up, but it makes sense. Let me think about it for a while, and then we'll work out a plan."

Adam turned to his father and grinned. It was the first genuinely relaxed smile that Ben had seen from him. If expanding the house could do that for him, Ben knew that he was going to approve all those changes. He wanted to hug Adam at that point but still worried about how he was going to react. He put his hand on his son's shoulder and squeezed as he smiled. Little did he know that Adam wanted that hug, but he had lost the ability to easily give affection or receive it. All those years of living with the Davises and then spending nearly four years at West Point had honed the stoicism in him. Hoss and Little Joe were much freer with their affection and Adam got hugs from both when they saw the plans. Hoss especially looked forward to having his own bedroom, a place that he could make comfortable for himself, and a place where he could get some solitude when he wanted it. Little Joe liked being on an equal footing with everyone else by having a bedroom all to himself. Their reactions made Ben's decision an easy one.

"I guess that we ought to raise the roof first. It seems that my sons would like to have their own bedrooms as soon as possible."

That got enthusiastic responses from Hoss and Little Joe, but Adam had another idea. "First, there should be a bedroom off the kitchen for Hop Sing. I could do that work myself. It wouldn't take that much, and Hop Sing is the only one right now with no place to sleep or to keep his things. It will take some time to get all the materials together and prepared so that we can raise the roof. It may take more men than you have working here right now to do it in one day."

"I've been thinking about that too. I think we ought to have a party. Originally, I thought I wanted to have it to introduce my son to our friends and celebrate his homecoming, but now perhaps we could combine the two and have a roof raising and homecoming party."

Hoss had an idea too. "How about a party to celebrate the harvest this fall. That gives us a month or so to get ready for the roof raising, and we can work on the other projects this winter. We don't have that much to do in winter, so a big project like this would keep us all busy."

"Yeah, and I wouldn't have to go to school. I would have to stay here and help."

As Adam and Hoss smiled, Ben turned to Little Joe. "You will be going to school on every day that the weather permits." His stern look made Little Joe realize he should not complain about that. Instead he asked what they were doing that day. "I want to show Adam around the Ponderosa. Perhaps you two would like to ride with us?"

Hoss was surprised. It wasn't like his father to take a day off in the middle of the week. He said that, but wished he had not spoken up at all when he got his father's response.

"No, I don't usually do something like this, but it is a special occasion with having Adam home, and I would like to spend some time talking with the two of you about what happened in town yesterday."

Adam and Hoss looked at each other and shrugged. That part of the day wasn't likely to be much fun, but they knew they had to talk about it. Adam had been introduced to the hands in the bunkhouse by Hank so there wasn't much of a surprise when Ben sent Adam out to talk to Hank and the men about the work that he wanted completed that day. Hank asked if Adam was going to continue to sleep in the bunkhouse, and Adam told him he would until the expansion of the house was completed. That surprised Hank so Adam told him about the plans to expand the house and he was more surprised to hear that his boss had already approved the idea. It wasn't like Ben Cartwright to accept change so easily especially when someone else had the idea. Hank was impressed that Adam had been able to convince him.

"It wasn't so much that I convinced him. He said he had already been thinking about doing it, but he didn't know how he could manage it. My plans gave him a way to do what he wanted to do. I get the feeling he isn't easy to convince to try new things."

"You got that right. I'm thinking the two of you might butt heads over a few things as time goes on. Don't you ever let it make you think he doesn't value you as his son. He's been talking to me about you for years. I was one of the first he opened up to, and I have to tell you, he was carrying a lot of pain at losing you."

"I know the feeling. It's funny though because he's different than the father I remember and yet he's the same."

"I'm guessing you're a lot different than that boy he described to me. For one, you don't talk near as much as I thought you would. He said his boy talked and asked questions almost constantly. Admitted that it irritated him sometimes back then, but over the years, he wished he would have that back."

"I remember his stern voice too. I have a feeling a may hear some of that today when we talk about what happened yesterday."

"Once you stepped into it, you didn't have much choice. The man you shot made some bad decisions. He coulda walked out of there in one piece. He misjudged you probably cause he could see how young you were. I didn't."

"Why?"

Hank smiled at the question recognizing the innate curiosity that drove the young man. "Well, you see, you didn't look scared. Now you mighta been, on the inside, but on the outside, you were calm as a rattler before it strikes. I've learned over the years to watch out for the quiet ones who give you the hard stare. The ones who talk a lot and loudly are scared and showing it. The quiet serious ones are thinking about how they can best ya. You're one of those by my reckoning."

Adam shrugged and Hank knew that he had pegged him right. He asked about why Eric was going to be called Hoss and Adam gave him a short version of that story. The two men went to the stable to saddle up horses for the day and continued talking. Hank finally had a big question to ask.

"You planning to stay?"

"I wasn't sure, but, yes, I think I will."

"Good, the Boss needs a foreman."

"I thought you were the foreman?"

"I was but mostly because I was here the longest. I never cottoned to the job, but I could see that Hoss wasn't ready and wouldn't be for a few more years. You could do it now. You only have to let the men see that you can do the job."

"I know horses, but I don't know anything about cattle and timber."

"You'll learn. I'll help you all I can, but I got an offer I want to accept." Adam quirked up an eyebrow in question. "Lady in town wouldn't mind being my wife. She's got a house but her husband up and died on her. I got an offer to run the livery stable in town. I'd like that job more than this even if it doesn't pay as well. No more riding ten hours a day and sleeping on the ground pretty regular."

"If my father agrees to the idea, I'll learn all I can from you as fast as I can. We wouldn't want you to have to wait much longer. Have you asked him if you could head to town on Saturday and come back Monday morning?"

"No, but I'm fixing to now. Thank you, Adam. You're gonna be a big help to the place and to your Pa. I'm guessing the two of you gonna be butting heads over this too. Good for you both. You're gonna have to figure out how to fit with each other and ain't no better way to take the measure of a man than to have words with him, see how he reacts. You know, when you first said you was the lost son, I wondered if you could be an imposter. The way you take to work and responsibility though, I know you're your father's son. You're a lot like him."

"Thank you, Hank, for everything."

Ben walked into the stable with the two younger boys at that point. "Thank Hank for what?"

"He's going to teach me what he knows about the ranch. Between the two of you, I figure I've got about thirty years of experience from which to learn."

It wasn't simply the praise that made a tear come into Ben Cartwright's eye at that point. He knew that with the house plans Adam had drawn and his willingness to learn from him and Hank, his son planned to stay, and that was the most heartwarming thought of all. The rest of the day was mostly anticlimactic with showing Adam the Ponderosa. He was impressed by what his father had been able to accomplish. The timber operation was too far to visit that day but Ben promised Adam a trip up there soon. He wanted to teach Adam about how he liked the trees marked and harvested. Adam was most interested in seeing the lumber mill and how it was set up. That night at dinner, the conversation was animated especially because Hop Sing had gone all out because of his happiness over the stove working properly and Adam's plans to give him a room of his own.

The next few months went rather smoothly considering the upheaval in the family caused by Adam's arrival. He continued to live in the bunkhouse, but the big party had led to the roof raising, and work began on the addition even as Adam began work inside the main room of the house constructing a staircase that led to a blank wall. Like Hop Sing's bedroom, he had outlined an opening for a door but wasn't planning to cut through the wall until the area beyond it was closed to the weather.

On Sundays, people began to get used to Adam being with the rest of the family as they came to church services. Adam also went to town with his father and with Hoss to get supplies as they were needed. It was on one of those trips that Ben picked up a letter from Abel Stoddard to him. It was addressed to him alone so he stuck it in his jacket pocket to read when he got home. Parts of the letter surprised and even shocked him.

"I suppose by now Adam has told you that those black-hearted scoundrels told him that I was dead and that you were probably dead too. They purposefully misled him so that he would be their son. Ben, I am so proud of our boy. He never gave in and they had him from such a young age. He's a strong one. It seems that the Nuss monster who had him beat him until he bled, and that's why he ran away from the wagon train. But Davis used a willow switch on him rather too often too it seems. That Davis witch ignored him mostly. I met them and there're not two colder, greedier people anywhere. He's not had anyone to show him love for so many years. It's not like me to get so emotional, but all I wanted to do was hug that boy and tell him I love him. I do so hope that he arrived in good health and that you welcomed him and are holding him close. Please write as soon as you are able. I know that the letters take so long to arrive, but I will wait anxiously to hear from you. I sensed that there could be a lot of anger bottled up in our boy. I wouldn't want to be the one who makes him explode." There was more about how he had shared his memories of Elizabeth with her son and how they had spent as much time together as they could. When Abel explained how Adam had gotten an inheritance and what he had done with it, Ben could not have been prouder of his son. Adam had found a way to achieve some justice and did it by helping others donating the inheritance he got to the orphans and foundlings of the Boston area. He hoped to have some time in the near future to talk with Adam about the things that Abel had told him. Abel had given him a gift in knowing more of Adam's story and why he acted the way that he did.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Oh, Papa, please save me. Papa, I need you!" Little Joe Cartwright was fighting for his life. He had permission to ride in the fenced pastures by himself as long as he kept the house or stable in view. He had heard a calf bellowing and found one stuck in a small mudhole. Thinking that he was capable of helping, he had taken his lariat that he had woven himself and tied it off to the saddle and then went to tie the other end around the calf. He had found working in mud to be a lot more difficult than he thought, and as he got the rope on the calf and ordered his horse to pull, the calf fought against him and knocked him into the center of the thick mud. It had rained the night before and water was flowing into the depression so that when Little Joe got stuck in the mud, the water continued to rise around him even as his struggles made him sink deeper. He called out for help, then cried out for help, and then desperately screamed for his father. He was getting exhausted and nearly unable to stand at all when strong arms wrapped around his chest and pulled. He felt his boots slipping from his feet.

"My boots! You're pulling me out of my boots."

One boot was lost and the other barely clung to his foot as he was pulled to safety. Little Joe turned ready to throw his arms around his father only to find that it was Adam who had saved him. Then he didn't care about who it was and threw his arms around his oldest brother and sobbed. Adam didn't say anything. He could have chastised the boy for trying to do something dangerous instead of going for help but thought that Little Joe probably understood that lesson already. Instead his arms wrapped around the boy and held him close as his sobbing gradually subsided. With tear tracks through the mud on his face, Little Joe finally looked up at Adam.

"You saved my life. You saved my life just like you saved Hoss' life."

"I wouldn't have had to save either of you if you had made better decisions, but I guess that comes with age. Now, let's get that calf free and then get us home to get cleaned up. We need to take baths."

"It's not even Saturday. I could just wash up. Adam, I'm cold."

Adam couldn't resist teasing the boy, and Little Joe's response was all that he hoped it would be. "I know you're cold. Here, you wear my jacket. I'll have to have it washed anyway. You've even got mud in your hair. I'm not sure how you managed that but it needs to get washed out before it dries and takes all your hair with it."

"What?"

"Didn't you know? If you let mud dry in your hair, it takes that hair with it. You could be bald by this time tonight unless we wash your hair very soon."

Limping a little because one foot was missing a boot, Little Joe rushed to the calf to free it from the lariat and then mounted up on his horse. "C'mon, Adam, we gotta get home and take a bath."

Hop Sing was shocked at first to hear Little Joe say that he wanted a bath, but on closer inspection and seeing an almost equally muddy Adam standing behind him, he told them he would start heating water. The washroom wasn't completed yet but there was enough of it roughed in for the two brothers to set the wash tub up in there. Hop Sing asked where Little Joe's other boot was and he turned his eyes to the floor as Adam explained.

"He risked himself to save a poor calf's life and managed to do it although he lost a boot in the process."

Thinking through what Adam said and what it meant, Hop Sing knew that Little Joe was in for a serious talk with his father. He admired that Adam had not taken on the role of disciplinarian even as he had played guardian for his brother. He heard the chatter of the brothers as Adam helped Little Joe shuck his muddy clothing. He heard Adam instructing him on how to clean his boot and belt. Hop Sing went to get clean clothing for the two and towels. Within a half hour, Adam had Little Joe in the tub.

"Let me wash your hair for you."

"Adam, I can wash my own hair. I'm almost nine-years-old, you know."

"Yes, I know, but mud can be difficult to wash out of hair. You wouldn't want to leave any in there because you couldn't see it, now would you?" That sobered Little Joe up as he remembered what Adam had said about mud drying in his hair.

"You better wash it then, Adam. I don't want to be bald."

Ben heard that as he walked in to the roughly finished washroom. "Little Joe, why would you go bald?"

"Adam told me about the mud. If it dries in my hair, it would make it fall out. Pa, Adam saved my life. He's the best brother, ever, isn't he, Pa? I mean the best oldest brother because Hoss is a good brother for me to do things with, but he hasn't never saved my life."

"Hoss hasn't ever saved your life."

"That's what I said, Adam. Gees, weren't you listening? I guess if you have to worry about getting all that mud out, you might not have heard me."

"Little Joe, how did you get all that mud in your hair and everywhere else it seems?" Ben suspected that he had been doing something he shouldn't have done.

Adam answered. "He was helping me save a calf from the mudhole in the southeast pasture. He went in too far and got stuck in the mud. I've been meaning to dig a drainage ditch away from there. I guess I should have gotten to it sooner. I'll do that tomorrow and hopefully find Little Joe's boot in the mud. It may take some time to dry out and Little Joe will likely have to stay in the house until it does."

Fairly certain that Adam was covering for Little Joe in some way, Ben was satisfied anyway. Little Joe would be confined to the house for several days at least. It was a suitable response to whatever he had done. "Yes, Little Joe, you will wear your slippers and stay in the house. You can help Hop Sing with his work."

Little Joe wanted to object but knew that anything he said at this point might lead his father to ask more questions. He was grateful to Adam for saving him from one of his father's serious talks but not happy with him for suggesting that he had to stay in the house for several days. When Ben left the room, he whispered to Adam.

"Why did you have to tell him that I had to stay in the house?"

"Because without your boot, you would have to do that anyway, and this way, Pa thinks the situation is handled and he won't add on any more punishment. Or did you want to tell Pa exactly what happened and take your chances?"

Quiet for a short time as he thought, Little Joe couldn't think of an argument to counter what his oldest brother had said. "All right, I guess you did help me out a lot. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now stand up so I can rinse you off. The bath water is half mud by now." As Little Joe dried himself and dressed, Adam emptied the washtub and then got a bucket of water from the well to rinse the muddy residue from the bottom of the tub. He began to strip off his clothing then as Hop Sing brought in more hot water. He thanked Hop Sing for all that he did to help them and promised to try to avoid getting so dirty in the future. It felt good to slip into the warm water finally and begin to banish the chill.

"You good man. You help family in all ways. You help Hop Sing. I thank you too."

"Hop Sing, you are part of this family. Of course, I will help you whenever you need it." Hop Sing nodded almost overwhelmed with emotion. He went to heat one more kettle of water so that the young man could rinse when he was washed.

Ben came back to the washroom then. "Perhaps I ought to help you wash your hair. I hear it falls out if there's any mud left in it." Ben shared a smile with his son who accepted his request. As he washed Adam's hair, Ben was reminded of doing that all those years earlier. He didn't want to stop.

"Pa, if you keep washing, I think you're going to wash me bald." Adam said it with humor but there were tears in his eyes too. He had been transported back many years as well. Ben handed the kettle of warm water to his son so he could stand and rinse himself. Ben sat on a bench while Adam dressed.

"I got a letter from your grandfather. He was so happy that he got to spend some time with you. I know he treasures every minute that he had."

"I hope someday that I can go back and visit with him. He had so many stories to share but I had to leave to be sure to get a wagon train that was leaving St. Joseph." Adam was a bit wary wondering what else Abel had written in the letter. It didn't take long to find out.

"He talked more about how your life was with the Davises. He met them and had some choice words to say about them. I'm so sorry that you had to live like that. If only I had known."

"Pa, I'm accepting that you had no way of knowing. For years, I wondered if you had forgotten me. Inger had said that the two of you would come find me. To a five-year-old, that sounded like a solemn promise. I know she meant it, but now I know there wasn't any way that you could have found me. I know now that if I had stayed with that wagon train, you would have found me. So, it's my fault. I ran away and then I couldn't be found. It wasn't that you didn't want to find me."

"Adam, you were five and in an unimaginably bad situation. You can't blame yourself any more than I can blame myself." Suddenly Ben heard what was between the lines in that last statement. "Why would you ever think that I didn't want to find you?"

Looking down, Adam rubbed his forehead. He hadn't meant to say anything that would lead to that question but somehow he had. He thought back to what he had said and realized that he had let his greatest fear slip out enough that his very perceptive father noticed. He knew that he had to explain but didn't know how much to say. His father had asked him to be honest, but their relationship although old in some ways was also brand new. He knew it was a risk to be so honest but decided to take a leap of faith. "I thought that perhaps you blamed me for my mother's death and didn't want me once you had Inger and a chance to start again."

Knowing that Adam was thinking about what to say, Ben had waited. When he heard that sentence though, he was shocked that his son could think that. He wanted to immediately deny it, but knew too that was too simplistic and would not reassure his son. He decided to bare his soul as much as his son had bared his. "When your mother died, I looked at you and wondered why God could be so cruel. He had taken the love of my heart and left me with an infant who had so many needs that I wasn't sure I could fulfill enough of them. I lost love and gained responsibility. But over the next hours, days, weeks, months, and years, I learned something important about life. There are so many ways to love and the love for a child is the strongest and most powerful love there is. I have mourned three wives. Each time, it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. But then I got to hold the precious gift I had received from each. The love I have for my sons knows no limits. Adam, I love you. I want you here by my side as long as you are willing to be there. I never want to do anything to make you leave. Don't ever blame yourself for your mother's death. She would have my hide if she thought for one moment that I let you blame yourself for that."

"I did blame myself for that. Each year, when it got close to when my birthday was, I thought about that, and about everything that had happened, and I know I blamed myself."

"I have blamed myself over the years for all of it, but now that I know more of what happened, I know that fate intervened as did a lot of other people. If the judge hadn't been dishonest, if McWhorter hadn't lied, if Gunnar had woken up with his memories intact, if Nuss had been a decent man, and if the Davises had tried to find me or your grandfather as they said they did." Ben had seen one of those dark looks pass over Adam. He had to ask. "Why did you just look like you'd seen the devil there a moment ago? You've told me about the Davises and Abel filled in more so I know it's not them. Is it McWhorter?"

"It could be but it isn't. He was an awful man. He asked Inger to marry him when you were in jail. He said if she did, that I would be able to stay with her. He even said he would get something that I now know is clemency so that you wouldn't stay in prison for the rest of your life. She refused. There were times when that situation made me angry at her until I remembered why she did it. She said she couldn't marry anyone else because she was married to you."

"She never told me that McWhorter said that, but I get the feeling that you're still holding something back."

Turning away from his father, Adam sat on the bench beside him and stared at the floor. Finally he decided to tell his father if he could get a promise that he would never tell Hoss. Ben agreed knowing that Adam had to tell something that he thought would hurt Hoss if he knew. "You've heard the story of the outlaws who robbed the wagon train and took the money they needed to survive the trip?" Ben nodded. "I recognized the man who led them. I didn't until he spoke, and then the voice was so familiar even if I had heard it fifteen years earlier." Ben expected him to say McWhorter. "It was Gunnar. It was Gunnar I tracked down and got the money from. It was Gunnar I left on foot on the prairie. I called him out by name and he answered. There's no doubt it was him. That tall fast horse I brought with me is his horse, but I'm very sure that he stole it from someone."

"Gunnar is an outlaw now?" Ben was shocked and understood Adam's reluctance to tell him. "That's very sad. I know why you don't want me to tell Hoss. Until now, he's only heard stories about Gunnar and me fighting, but then Gunnar seeing us off and wishing us well. I had no idea that Inger's brother would turn to thievery. Adam, I understand why you don't want to say some of these things in front of your brothers, but you don't have to hide anything from me. I would like to know about your life so that I can better understand you."

"I'll try, Pa, but I got in the habit over the years of holding things back because talking about things made people upset."

"Well, it's possible that I'll be upset but not because you told me. I may not always agree with you and we may argue or have disagreements. That won't mean that I don't love you, and it won't hurt our relationship. I want you to be honest with me, son."

Adam smiled a little and decided that he needed to lighten the conversation even though he suspected his father wouldn't be all that happy to hear what he had to say. "Then I suppose I should tell you that I told Hank to ask if he could leave on Saturday and come back Monday morning. He's got a lady in town and wants to get married."

"You did that without talking with me?" Ben realized that he had raised his voice and did his best to remain calm.

"He still has to ask you so you still make the decision. It kinda slipped out because it was what I was thinking while he and I talked."

"Well, I wish you had talked to me first. Hank is a great foreman and I'd hate to lose him."

"He's going to leave anyway. He said as soon as I learn as much as I can from him, he's going to go to town to run the livery stable."

"He told you this?" Ben was amazed that Hank had confided in Adam so quickly.

"He told me the second day that I was here. I guess he wanted me to know that he wanted me to stay and learn."

That surprised Ben even more. "He hasn't mentioned any of this to me yet."

"I guess he's worried about how you'll react."

"Nonsense, Hank and I have been friends for ten years. He can tell me anything." Ben's voice had risen again and he looked at Adam who had a small smile. "I guess you might be right about that. I'll have a talk with him and suggest that he can go to town on Saturday night and get back here bright and early Monday morning. You are an asset to me already, Adam. I not only have a son working with me, I have a partner who can help me out sometimes."

"The junior partner though?"

"Yes, the final decisions will be up to me until it's time for you to take over, and I don't expect that to happen for a lot more years."

Ben wrapped an arm around Adam's shoulders. Smiling in response to that and his father's comment, Adam nodded. It was about what he expected. He decided it wasn't a good time to tell his father that he was thinking that once Hoss and Little Joe were men, he might leave. He had some dreams he wanted to chase too.

"There's a dance in town on Friday. Hoss and Joe want to go so I'll be going. Are you going to come with us?"

"I don't know. I'll think about that."

"There'll be a lot of pretty girls there."

"I don't have much luck with girls. They weren't impressed with my pedigree or my wealth or lack of wealth to be more accurate. Major Davis didn't let me socialize much. He wanted me to concentrate on my studies and riding so I would be ready for a military career."

"The girls here have a different standard when judging a man and his worth, and I'm going to encourage you to socialize. You need to have time to relax and to make friends. I think you'll be very popular if you decide to attend. I wish that you had spent more time socializing at the party we gave, but I understand that you wanted to be there for every step of the roof raising. There were some young ladies who were very disappointed about that."

"There were?" Suddenly Adam was interested in going to the dance. "Then I guess I ought to go to the dance so I can make it up to them."

"Yes, son, that's a very good idea." Ben had a small smile then too. He had seen the girls looking at Adam in church, and then at the party on the ranch, several had asked about him. Ben suspected that Adam was going to have a very good time at the dance in town. Watching Adam, Ben thought that he had something else he wanted to say or ask so he asked him to say whatever was on his mind.

"It's silly, I suppose, for a grown man to care, but, Pa, when exactly is my birthday? I knew the month but I forgot the day." And one more piece of the puzzle was revealed for Adam when his father told him the day he was born which was bittersweet for it was also the day his mother died. He knew he would never be able to separate the two in his mind, but at least he was fairly sure that his father did not blame him for his mother's death. That was one less burden for him to bear.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The next morning, Little Joe wasn't happy to have to wear slippers and work in the house. He was grumpy at breakfast but not so much as to be reprimanded by his father. He was smart enough to know that he needed to be on his best behavior at least for a few days. Then as Adam and Hoss got up to go, Adam smiled at him and patted his shoulder reminding him that it could have been much worse. Hoss rode out with Adam and helped him dig a drainage ditch from the mudhole so that they could try to retrieve Joe's boot and prevent any future mishaps like the one that had gotten Joe in trouble. The boot was likely to be in rather bad shape, but they both knew their father would make him wear it for a while to remind him to use better judgment. It wasn't likely to work with the impulsive and impetuous youth at changing his behavior in the long run, but all of them were certain that he would eventually understand because it seemed that he needed to learn by making mistakes. As they worked though, Hoss had a question.

"Adam, why didn't we shore up the sides and make this a watering hole like you done with some other places where water collects after a rain?"

"There's too much silt here. When water collects here it makes a kind of slurry, and if the cattle came to drink, most would get stuck in the mud. The other spots had more gravel so that the base wouldn't get muddy. The water will stay cleaner and the cows won't get stuck."

Nodding in understanding, Hoss continued to work and answered questions that Adam had about the men and about the cattle. Hoss spent quite a bit of time explaining the drive that they had made to California because he knew that his father wanted to do that drive again in spring. Once they finished the drainage ditch, they waited for the water to flow out and were able to talk even more. The brothers were talking quite a bit each day as each taught the other what they needed to know, and that was bringing the brothers closer together as well as making Adam more aware of what was expected on a ranch. Hoss had noted all the talks that it seemed Adam had been having with their father.

"You and Pa seem to spend a lot of time talking. You getting everything straight between you two?"

"Mostly."

"What ain't all right between ya?"

Adam didn't understand how he could so easily talk to Hoss when talking to anyone else was always such a struggle. He guessed it was because he naturally trusted him. "You know that my mother died on the day I was born? Having me was too much for her."

"Yeah, Pa has talked about all of the family. We heard that story a time or two."

"I wondered all these years if he blamed me for her death. I mean, I heard him tell folks that when I was young. I mean, he told them that my mother died the day I was born. I guessed then that he told people that because he thought it was my fault."

"Well, he told ya he didn't, didn't he?"

"Yes, he said he didn't blame me. I'm fairly certain that he told me the truth."

Tossing down a shovel he had been using to support his lean, Hoss was angry. "Now, there's something you better understand and understand fast. Our Pa says what he means and means what he says. Ifn he said he didn't blame ya, then he don't. You got that?"

Startled by Hoss' outburst, Adam stepped back before answering. "I do. I'm sorry, Hoss. I didn't mean to say that I didn't trust him. It's that I've been lied to so much in my life that I find it hard to accept that people are telling me the truth now. I didn't mean to tell you that I doubted Pa. It's that I got so used to thinking one way that it's taking me some time to get used to being treated with respect and being told the truth. It's my insecurity that's the problem."

"Well, that's it then. You learn to trust us, and you won't have no insecurity problem."

Smiling, Adam nodded and stepped to Hoss placing a hand on his shoulder to let him know that all was good between them again. They talked about the upcoming dance among other things while they waited. When the last of the water drained out, they could see Joe's boot top sticking out of the mud. The leather was soaked and would require some drying out as well as cleaning and oiling. Adam looked at Hoss.

"Flip you for it?"

"Nah, Pa put you in charge. I don't think he meant for me to wade into all that mud and maybe get stuck."

"I'm just as likely to get stuck."

"Nah, you're skinnier and a lot lighter than me."

Conceding that he was going to get muddy and cold once again, Adam stripped off his clothing and waded into the cold mud to retrieve Little Joe's boot. When he got out, he did his best to wipe the mud from him. Hoss gave him his canteen of water as well so he could get reasonably clean. Finally, he was shivering so much he had to give up the idea of being clean in order to be warm. He pulled on his clothing and buttoned up his jacket but was still shivering.

"Maybe you ought to ride home, Adam. I can do the herd count in this pasture without you."

"No, it will go faster with the two of us, and it looks like a storm might be blowing in. Let's go get that done so we can both ride home and warm up." It was a major miscalculation. The storm swept in on them before they finished the herd count. They had to abandon that because of the high winds and the hail taking shelter in some trees until the worst of that had passed. By they time they rode for home, both were wet and cold. Hoss heard Adam cough a few times while they groomed the horses and got blankets over them. Then they headed to the house to get dry clothes and to warm up.

That night at dinner, Adam wasn't very hungry and neither was Hoss. Adam couldn't seem to shake the chill that he had gotten. He had taken a quick bath in order not to be late to dinner. He probably should have stayed and soaked in the warm water in the steamy room for much longer. Seeing that both of his older sons looked exhausted, Ben suggested that with the chill they got, they might like some hot tea and then they could go to bed early. The next morning, Hoss was feeling quite a bit better, but Hank came in to tell Ben that Adam was sick.

"He's coughing and he's got a fever. Boy don't look so good."

After rushing to the bunkhouse, Ben sat at Adam's side and put a hand on his forehead. He got scared when he realized that Adam had a very high temperature. He was also shivering from the chills he had. Despite Adam's weak objections, Hoss helped his father get Adam up and into the house to rest in Ben's bedroom. Ben helped him undress and handed him an old soft sleepshirt to wear before helping him into the big bed where he made sure the covers were wrapped around his very ill oldest son. Hop Sing was soon at the bedside with heated bricks that were placed in towels and under the covers next to Adam. In between bouts of coughing, Adam was able to drink several cups of hot tea that Hop Sing had brewed. He slipped into a deep sleep then as Ben turned to Hop Sing.

"Thank you. Your tea has done the trick again. Now, I'll sit with him if you'll see that the other two get a good breakfast. Check them both, please, to be sure that neither has a fever."

From the bed hours later, Adam spoke in a weak voice. "Pa, I'll be fine. You don't have to fuss over me so." That simple statement was followed by a bout of coughing.

"You are staying right here until that cough clears up. Hop Sing will be here soon with more tea." Adam frowned as if wondering how his father knew that and a moment later, Hop Sing was there with a tray. He had more tea and some thin broth for Adam to drink. Adam wished he could have something more substantial but the warm liquids did soothe his throat and diminish that urge to cough. Somehow it made him sleepy again. For several days, that was the routine. Ben was relieved that Adam didn't get any sicker. On Sunday morning, Ben was sitting by the bed when Adam awakened. He pushed himself up against the headboard.

"I'm feeling better. This is the first morning I woke up and didn't feel like I was in a fog, an irritating fog that made my throat itch until I coughed."

"You sound better. A few more days in bed, and you should be well on your way to recovering from this."

"Pa, I don't need to spend any more days in bed. I'll be fine. Ah, what day is it? Is it Sunday?"

"It is Sunday, but I'm not going to church. Hank took the boys to the dance when he went to town yesterday, and they'll stay with Hiram until Monday morning when Hank comes back."

"I made you miss the dance."

"Now, I didn't mind at all. Usually I only go to make sure those two scamps don't get in too much trouble. I had hoped you could go, but I'm sure that there'll be more dances."

"I was looking forward to this one. I suppose there aren't many events like that in the winter here."

"No, not many but the last few years we've had a gathering of friends here at Christmas. Then there is the Valentine's Day dance in February. Sometimes we do a church social after services just to give people a chance to see someone other than their family for a time. Those are only for a few hours because it gets so dark early, but they're a good chance to talk with people and get to know any new arrivals. Trips to town for supplies are an overnight trip in the winter months so that's another chance to see some people and do some socializing."

A few hours later, Ben was surprised to hear a carriage in the yard. Thinking it was Hank bringing the boys back early for some reason, he stayed at the dining table drinking his coffee. Adam had fallen asleep earlier so Ben had left to do some reading. Hop Sing had fixed a light lunch, and Ben had eaten all of it because he was relaxed knowing that Adam was going to recover. Out in the west, even a cold could sometimes be deadly by leading to complications. This had been a nasty cold, but the day before Adam had started sweating a lot and that morning had awakened fully lucid and free of aches and pains although he still had a lingering cough and was pale which betrayed his physical weakness. Ben was surprised a second time when there was a knock on the door. Hank and the boys wouldn't have knocked so he wondered who had come all the way out to the Ponderosa. At the door, he was surprised to see two men from the church. He waited as they stammered out an explanation that their daughters had thought that Adam could use some company during his recovery and they had come to help.

"Couldn't get neither one to say the other one ought to be the one to go, so we had to bring both of them. I hope you don't mind, Ben. Both got all dressed up for the dance hoping to dance with Adam and were mighty disappointed when they found out that he was feeling poorly. He's better now, isn't he? Your foreman said his fever was breaking yesterday."

Smiling and nodding, Ben ushered the four into the house assuring them that Adam was recovering. He went to the bedroom and found Adam awake. "You have company."

"Who? I hardly know anyone here except the people on the ranch and the minister."

"Two young ladies from the church. They missed you at the dance and have come to visit with you and cheer you up. I'm glad I helped you shave before you fell back asleep this morning."

"Pa, I'm not dressed."

"You've been ill and have a nightshirt on as well as covers. You're fine. Their fathers knew what to expect when they drove them out here. So now, are you ready to greet your guests?"

Adam shrugged. He guessed he was. His father pulled an extra chair from the dining table and placed it in the room before telling the two girls that they could go visit with Adam and that they could introduce themselves. Ben went out to find if his two guests were interested in sharing some brandy with him. They were, and they chatted as they listened for the sounds of conversation from the bedroom. They heard that as well as laughter. After about two hours, they said they had to go. It was getting colder so the road might get slick as it froze, and they wanted to be home before it was dark. Once he had seen them off, Ben went to see Adam who was smiling.

"It sounded like the three of you got along quite well."

"Yes, that Rachel is a great storyteller so I told some stories too. Millicent is quieter but she can quote Shakespeare, Pa. She knows when to laugh too. I did enjoy myself and I think they enjoyed their time here too."

"Oh, I'm sure they did, son. They were both smiling when they left and told their fathers what a great storyteller you are."

"Pa, Rachel gave me a kiss on the cheek before she left, and then Millicent did too probably because Rachel did. That's not really proper behavior for a girl, is it?"

"Oh, under the circumstances, I think that it was all right."

"The circumstances?"

"Yes, when two girls are fighting for the attention of a young man, the rules are more liberal." Ben smiled especially when he saw the conflicting emotions of his son who was alternately proud to be the recipient of such attention and a bit embarrassed by that same attention.

"Things with women can be a bit complicated, can't they, Pa?"

Ben nodded. "Yes, indeed, son, they can be. I can reasonably predict that your life is going to be more complicated with females in it."

It was also more complicated with two younger brothers who had their opinions to express when they heard about Adam's visitors. They were at the dinner table on Monday when the subject of the two girls visiting Adam came up and Ben couldn't help but tease Adam a bit about the attention he got.

"Dadburnit, I cain't get even one to look at me twice, and you got two of 'em coming all the way out here just because you're sick. How'd you do it?" Hoss was genuinely interested because he was shy around girls even if he was getting very interested.

Little Joe was of an entirely different opinion. "You let them kiss you on the cheek? Did you wash afterwards?"

Too young and inexperienced with women, Adam had no idea how to answer Hoss' question so he responded to Little Joe. "No, of course not. It was just a simple kiss on the cheek."

"Yeah, but they put their lips on your face." Little Joe shivered as if that was the scariest thing he could think of at that point. "I'm never going to let a girl do that to me." When everyone else smiled, Little Joe added emphasis to his point. "If a girl ever comes near me to do that, I'll run or I'll smack her. Either way, she ain't going to kiss me." That got outright laughter making Little Joe stalk off in anger at their refusal to take him seriously. They knew he wouldn't even likely remember the conversation in a half hour as something else was bound to capture his attention. They all knew too that with his personality, he was likely to have girls swarming around him when he got a bit older.

Once Little Joe walked off, Hoss decided to tell his father about the man who had come up to them in town. "Pa, a man came up to us at the dance. I think Little Joe done forgot all about it. It didn't seem like what he said was a threat on the outside, but I been thinking about it and the way he said it, and now I'm wondering exactly how he meant it."

Concerned, Ben looked at Hoss and could tell he was very troubled. "What did he say, Hoss?"

"He asked if we were Cartwrights, and we said yes. Then he said he owed something to you, and that he always paid his debts, only he didn't say it like it was a good thing. Besides, he looked like the kind of man would sell you one horse and deliver another."

Adam had to ask then because his curiosity was aroused. "What does that mean?"

"It means he looked all shifty and no-account. He didn't look friendly or nice at all. He smelled like the saloon so I'm guessing he spent a lot of time there."

"And Hoss, how do you know what a saloon smells like?" Ben shifted the conversation to a lighter tone, and later would regret that he had done that. He should have known better and trusted Hoss' gut instincts. Instead he listened as Hoss sputtered out an answer about waiting for some of the hands who had stopped in to get a beer when they were in town. Ben knew that the hands took Hoss into the saloon with them. He was doing a man's work, so Hank had been told that Hoss could have a beer with the hands when they were in town, but had made sure that Hank understood that it was one beer and no more. Because Hoss had no idea that his father was complicit in his saloon visits with the men, he always listened to Hank's advice to have only one so that his father wouldn't notice. It was the next day when Ben thought to ask Hoss to describe the man. When he did, it didn't remind Ben of anyone. He had no idea that it was someone from fifteen years in his past.

However Adam had other things to ask Hoss and Ben was further distracted from his account of the stranger who had asked about him. "Hoss, did you meet any pretty girls at the dance?"

"Well, I had a lot of pretty gals come up to see if I would dance with 'em. Most of 'em were older than me. I didn't mind. I didn't mind either that they danced with me so they could find out more about you. The more I talked about you, the longer each one stayed by my side. I ain't never had so many pretty gals around me. It was a lot of fun even if I had to talk about you."

Smiling, Adam gave Hoss a thumb up. "Glad to be of service, brother, even though I couldn't attend the dance. Next time, we'll go together. Those girls won't know what hit them when they've got two Cartwrights to fill their dance cards."

"That's right!" Hoss paused with his lips pursed and a prominent frown. He had to ask. "Uh, Adam, what's a dance card?"

For the next half hour, Adam talked about the formal dances he had attended while at West Point and dance cards, formal dances, and watching out for the chaperones who would note even the smallest infraction in their expected behavior. Hoss was surprised at how formal Adam's life had been, and he talked then about the more relaxed version of dances that were held in the west or at least the kind that they had in their town. Ben sat back and listened to the easy camaraderie that was developing between his two oldest sons. He had to hope that Little Joe would continue to warm to his oldest brother. It had been slow, but step-by-step, they too were growing closer. The twelve-year age gap made it more difficult as did Little Joe's age. It was difficult for an eight-year-old to accept a new member of the family.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Ben, there was a man asking about you in town, but I haven't seen him in a few days. Figured he might have been out to see you or moved on." The first sheriff the town had ever had was assuming his duties with dedication and one of those things he thought he ought to do was to watch to see who had newly arrived and what kind of business they had in town. Roy Coffee had been suspicious about one of the most recent arrivals who spent most of his time gambling in the saloon. The stranger had asked about Ben Cartwright, but amid rumors that he cheated, he had disappeared. No one knew where he had gone including the lady who ran the boardinghouse who wanted her payment for the time he stayed there. She was going to start charging strangers in advance for staying because all too often it seemed they were willing to move on without paying. Ben liked the sheriff and thought they could become even better friends than they already were. That Roy would ride all the way to the ranch to warn him about something spoke about how Roy felt about that same thing.

"Hoss told me that too. What did the man look like? Hoss gave a rather general description which gave me no clue as to who this could be."

"Well, I can see why. Ben, he is rather ordinary looking. He's rather pale, taller than me, has thick hands that make it look like he's a hard-working man except all he does is play poker, and he's good enough that it made me suspect that he's been doing that for a very long time. I watched him when I had the chance cause some folks claimed he was cheating. I never saw nothing like that, but if he's as good as he appears, he might have done it right in front of me. I don't know that much yet about card sharks. That's something else I gotta learn. Said his name was John James. Now you know I didn't believe that, but without anything else to use to push him, I couldn't find out anything more."

"Roy, what did the man look like?"

"Oh, yeah, well he was pale and talked like he come from the east. He talks kinda fancy and kinda rough all at the same time. It all made me wonder if he had been in jail. Maybe he got caught cheating somewhere and they locked him up for a while, but he looked more pale than a man who's only in a jail. The more I think on it, the more it seems he musta spent time in prison."

"Perhaps he was ill, Roy. Sometimes people who have been ill for a long time are very pale."

"That's true, but it don't seem to fit with the personality he has. He seems kinda bitter and angry although he was always polite as can be when I was around."

Curious as to who the man could be, Ben did ask Roy to watch for him if he showed up again. Then the two had coffee and the biscuits that Hop Sing provided.

"Ben, these are darn good biscuits. I don't recall having any of these when I've had a meal here with you before."

"Adam fixed the stove and now the oven operates to Hop Sing's satisfaction. He's helping us make a lot of changes around here. By this time next year, we'll have bedrooms upstairs, an extension to the bunkhouse, and Adam has promised that the alcove will make a fine office area for me. My bedroom will be a guest bedroom or a room for anyone who is sick or injured. He's already nearly finished the new washroom, and Hop Sing's bedroom only needs to be sealed against the weather. He definitely knows what he's doing when it comes to building."

"When our town starts to grow, his services will be in demand."

Surprised that Roy would say that, Ben was quick to counter it. "No, Adam will be working here on the ranch. He won't have time for anything else."

Roy sensed that Adam might have a different opinion about that, but it was well in the future so there was no need to discuss it at that time. Roy took his leave then telling Ben to be sure to be careful until they found out what the stranger wanted. As Roy rode away from the Ponderosa, the man they had been discussing watched him go. The stranger in town had known that the sheriff was getting very suspicious. He knew it had been time to go, and he was able to find this secluded spot from which to observe the ranch where his enemy lived. He planned to kill him but had no plans to harm the sons unless they got in his way. He wouldn't accept their interference, but he didn't want to kill them. The government would mount a full scale search for him if any of the sons were harmed. Men were killed so often in the west that most people were acclimated to it, but the harming of a child could still ignite the fires of wrath. He was working on a plan and hoped to implement it that night. He would be gone in the morning with no one knowing who had killed Ben Cartwright. That was his plan but he knew there could be complications. In fact, there always seemed to be complications.

That night back in the bunkhouse again, Adam was having a difficult time falling asleep. He had heard what his father had said to Roy and that bothered him. However he wasn't ready to confront his father over it and probably wouldn't for many years. In the short time that Adam had been on the Ponderosa, he realized that he was awake later than most and rose earlier than most. He listened to the night sounds and the snores and various other noises made by sleeping men. Then he heard something very odd. A horse had arrived near the yard but not in it. He was fairly certain of that. He was also certain that everyone who belonged on the Ponderosa was already there. He slipped from the bunk and stepped to the small window to look outside. For nearly a minute, he saw nothing and was thinking perhaps he had imagined it in his sleepy state and that he should simply go back to bed. But a shadow moved and his senses went on high alert. Stepping away from the window slowly so as not to attract any attention, Adam went to Hank's bed and shook his shoulder to wake him.

"What's wrong, boy? I'm mighty tired."

"Someone is outside. I heard a horse ride near, and now I saw someone moving around outside. They look like they're sneaking closer to the house."

"All, right, then you wake the men to your side and I'll wake the others. Careful not to stand up and stay in the shadows in case somebody is looking in the window."

Just then both noticed a shadow at the window and froze. Hank whispered to Adam.

"You're sure right about somebody sneaking around out there."

As soon as the shadow moved away from the window, Adam and Hank woke the other men who were sleeping. There were a dozen of them and they fumbled to get their clothing on and grab their firearms in the darkness. Adam whispered that no one should put on boots. They would be moving into the house and boots would make too much noise.

"You got a plan, boy?"

"Have the men slip out the back door of the bunkhouse. Try to get men to check every window to see if Pa's shuttered them. If he has, see if anyone can get in the kitchen without being seen. Going through the washroom should work. Warn Pa and protect my brothers. Have the others inspect the property to see if there's more than one."

"What are you going to do?"

"By now, he's probably on the porch trying to get in the house. I'm going out there with a lantern to challenge him. Shorty and Bill, will you cover me? You can each take a side. If the man shoots, you shoot him."

As Hank got the men moving, Shorty and Bill waited as Adam grabbed a lantern and lit it. He stepped outside and moved toward the front door of the house. He saw the man checking the front door and turning quickly as the light from the lantern alerted him to Adam's presence. He didn't see Shorty and Bill move out in the darkness to either side of Adam who strode forward even as the man raised his pistol to point it at him.

"Stop right there. I don't have any quarrel with you." The stranger had watched the house and assumed that the last window showing light must be Ben's. He had hoped to get into the house and go to that room to kill the man he blamed for his troubles. He had a pistol in one hand and a very long knife in the other.

The voice nearly froze Adam. It did stop his forward momentum. "McWhorter! What are you doing here?"

"How the hell do you know my name?"

"I knew you in Illinois a long time ago."

"You couldn't know me. You must have been a boy then because I've been in prison for nearly fifteen years." Examining Adam more closely, McWhorter suddenly knew. "You must be Cartwright's son. I thought I got rid of you. I spent years in prison and one of the charges was that I kidnapped you and here you are with your pa all along."

Adam chose not to tell him what had actually happened. "So you broke the law and ended up in prison. What does that have to do with my father?"

"It was all his fault. Everything was just fine until he showed up."

Hatred and a desire for revenge had twisted McWhorter's mind. He had been criminal but now he was dangerously unbalanced too. Adam feared that nothing he said no matter how logical and accurate would have any impact on the man. Then he heard his father's voice. He had been so focused on McWhorter that he hadn't even heard the front door open.

"You have no one to blame but yourself. Drop those weapons or I'll kill you where you stand."

McWhorter wheeled around to aim his pistol at Adam to gain a bargaining point, but Adam had set the lantern on the ground and stepped back into the darkness. McWhorter decided to try a different tack. He dropped his weapons.

"You have nothing on me. I'm just a stranger who wandered in here tonight looking for a place to stay and you pulled guns on me. I haven't broken any law. I'll be leaving now. I'm unarmed. You shoot me now, and you'll hang."

McWhorter backed away and then began to walk to where he had left his horse. Adam had holstered his pistol, and he stepped into the man's path. McWhorter wanted to shove him out of the way but would do nothing that might make these men shoot him. He wasn't crazy.

"You did break the law. You trespassed. You had a drawn pistol and pointed it at me. That's an attempt to commit a crime: mayhem perhaps. I'm sure that Sheriff Coffee can find enough charges to put you away for some time."

"Get out of my way."

"No, your lies cost me to lose so much. I have a debt to settle with you." Adam unbuckled his gun belt and let it drop to the ground. Then he shoved McWhorter back. McWhorter balled up his fists and swung at Adam starting the fight. Adam was taller but McWhorter was heavier. However, Adam was young and had been working hard. His military training as well as his experience helped him in the fight. In addition, Adam had stored up fifteen years of pain and anger. He had a chance finally to release it. In the fight, gradually, Adam began to get the upper hand and eventually rained blows on McWhorter without receiving any more himself. When McWhorter fell to the ground, Adam dropped to his knees, grabbed McWhorter's collar to pull him up so he could hit him more but felt his father's strong hands wrap around his fist. Then Ben put his arms around Adam to pull him to his feet.

"It's over, son. You knocked the fight right out of him. It's over. He won't hurt you any more. We'll tie him up and someone will take him in to the sheriff in the morning." Ben had held the others back when they wanted to go to Adam's assistance. He sensed that fighting McWhorter was something that Adam needed to do, but now he wanted to bring him back. Adam struggled just a bit in his father's grasp until he was able to calm himself and addressed his father.

"Pa, you can let me go now. I won't do anything more."

Several men had pulled McWhorter to his feet. He was bleeding from the nose and lower lip and would likely have a bruised and swollen face in the morning. "What should we do with him, Mr. Cartwright?"

"Tie him to a post on the porch. I'm afraid that I'll want a guard on him tonight. Could you men take turns watching him, please? And don't untie him for any reason."

"Yes, sir, but Boss what if he needs to, you know?"

"He can hold it or wet himself. Do not untie him. He's too dangerous." Ben wrapped an arm around Adam's shoulders as he thanked the men for their assistance. "Hank, could you have someone roll up the mattress from Adam's bed and bring it in the house. I want him in the house with me tonight."

With that, Ben stooped to pick up Adam's gunbelt before straightening and steering him into the house. Adam had won the fight but seemed almost in shock. Ben guided him to a chair and poured a small glass of brandy for him after lighting several lamps. Adam sipped but coughed. Soon Hop Sing was there with a cup of tea. Seemingly too overwhelmed by events to talk, Adam nodded his thanks. Hop Sing noted the bruised and abraded hands and went to get cool water in a basin. Soon Adam was soaking his hands in water as Hop Sing gathered some soft cloth to dry his hands and salve to rub on them. Once Adam's hands were done, Hop Sing poured the remaining brandy into the tea and handed the concoction to Adam who gratefully accepted it and sipped it slowly. Meanwhile Ben had gathered Little Joe and Hoss and was talking softly with them as Hop Sing tended to Adam who heard them and asked if they would all like to sit by the fire where it was warmer. Hoss was the first to speak.

"Adam, thank you for what you done. You saved Pa from him, and then you pounded him good. I only wish I coulda helped you with that. He deserved that and a lot more cause he's the one who put Pa in jail, hurt Uncle Gunnar, and got you taken off in that wagon train. If it wasn't for him, our lives would have been so much better."

Little Joe of course wanted to back his brothers. "Yeah, I could have helped too. I would have pounded on him too, Adam, if you would have needed any help."

Moving to tousle Little Joe's hair, Adam reconsidered when he realized that might hurt his hands. Instead, he smiled at Little Joe. "Thank you both. I've got the best brothers any man could have." Then he looked to his father who sat on a chair to his left. "Thank you, Pa, for everything."

There was a knock on the door and Hank entered followed by several of the men. They had one of the bunkhouse bunks and carried it over to set it up next to the gun cabinet. They had Adam's things too.

"Hank, are you kicking me out of the bunkhouse?"

"No, Adam, but you belong in here with your family. Right, Mr. Cartwright?"

Smiling, Ben had to agree. He wished he had thought of such a simple solution much sooner. Once the bed was set in place, Hank unrolled the mattress on it and then dropped the blankets on top. "We got a rotation of men who'll watch that jasper on the porch. All the fight's gone out of him for now. I'm sure he'll be mouthing off as well as he can in the morning. That puffy lip will likely slow him down some."

Once the men left, Adam started to try to unbutton his shirt but found it very difficult with his swollen fingers. Ben stepped to him and unbuttoned his shirt. When it was removed, it revealed some rapidly darkening bruises on Adam's torso. Ben pressed each one that was over his ribs causing Adam to wince at the pressure on the bruise but there was nothing more serious than that.

"I guess sitting in a saloon playing cards doesn't do much for your strength. He looked like he could pack quite a punch, but I've been hurt a lot worse breaking horses. What hurts the worst are my hands from hitting his chin. I should have picked some softer targets."

Ben asked Adam if he had a sleepshirt and offered one of his own as he had when Adam had been sick. Adam declined preferring to sleep in his undergarments only. It wasn't how Ben had been taught, but he knew that was how all the men in the bunkhouse slept. He could hardly demand anything more. Meanwhile Little Joe was staring at Adam. Hoss put an arm around his little brother.

"Little Joe, Pa says Adam's gonna be all right. You don't have to worry."

"I wasn't worried about that. I was wondering if I'm going to have hair all over me like Adam does when I get to be a man."

That got a chuckle from the others who settled in to sleep that night confident that there were no more threats to their family. In the morning, McWhorter was hauled off to town to face charges. Life on the Ponderosa settled into a late fall routine as they prepared for winter. It was going to be a more interesting time than the previous winters because Adam was there and they had a major building project on which to work. The hope was that the framed in addition could be closed in before the snows fell which would allow them to spend the winter working on the finishing work. In spring, the stoves that had been ordered would hopefully arrive and each member of the family would have their own bedroom. Some of the men had experience with construction so they were kept on over the winter to work. That pleased them for often cowboys had no work in the winter and struggled to live on odd jobs. Overall, it was a very pleasant season despite being snowed in on occasion. Finally, it was approaching Christmas, and Ben decided to have a big party as long as the weather cooperated.


	13. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The Christmas tree was gaily decorated with some of the ornaments sparkling in the well lit main room of the Ponderosa. There were people dancing as musicians played. Ben stood on the first step of the new staircase and looked out over the biggest party he had ever thrown in the winter. After filling his cup with punch, Sheriff Roy Coffee walked over to join him. They watched as both Adam and Hoss danced with young ladies amid the throng of dancers. Two of the young ladies seemed to be getting most of the dances with Adam. Apparently their visit to Adam when he was recovering from a severe cold had paid off for them. Their fathers couldn't have been happier about that. A young, well-educated Cartwright would be a great match for one of their daughters. Each hoped it would be his that the young man might decide to court. When the two young ladies were not dancing with Adam, they kept Hoss busy at Adam's request. He told them he couldn't have a good time if Hoss was left without a dance partner. Knowing that, the young ladies made sure that Hoss always had a dance partner. When Ben saw how popular Hoss was as a dance partner, he assumed that Adam had something to do with that. Little Joe was doing his best to stay away from any of the females at the party and Ben had lost track of him.

"Roy, have you seen Little Joe?"

"Last I saw of him, he was crawling behind the Christmas tree with that Seth boy. The two of them looked like they had a plate of cookies. I figured they thought they could escape the party and still have the benefits."

"Speaking of escapes, McWhorter didn't get away from your new deputy on the way to California, did he?" As it had turned out, McWhorter had served over twelve years in prison in Illinois. He had traveled to California with the other gold seekers, but he had taken shortcuts like jumping claims and stealing gold. He had been in jail in California but had escaped. While there, he had heard of Ben Cartwright and decided to get some revenge even as he fled to the east to avoid another prison term.

"No, he's in California. They done tried him in absentia and sentenced him to twenty years hard labor. He won't likely live that long. Those prisons are hard on a man."

"That's a long sentence for what he did."

"One of the men he attacked is paralyzed. I heard they don't think he'll live long. If he had died before they got McWhorter back, they would have charged him with murder. Then he would have got the gallows."

As they talked, Ben noticed Adam step outside into the cold night with one of the young ladies. They came back in fairly soon but Adam had draped his new jacket around the young lady. When McWhorter was convicted, his horse, saddle, and firearms were sold. The money was used for the expenses of holding him in jail, but there was money left over when he was taken to California. Roy had offered it to Ben in compensation for things McWhorter had done. It wasn't much considering the gravity of all that he had done, but it was enough to buy a new suit for Adam, a new jacket for Hoss, and a larger saddle for Little Joe. A short time later, Ben noticed Adam walk outside with another young lady. He wondered if he was going to get in trouble for that. It didn't take long for Adam to be at his side with a quandary.

"Pa, I'm not too sure how it happened, but two girls have me taking them to the Valentine's Day dance in a month and a half. Each one kind of asked but it was more like each one told me that I was taking her. Now what do I do?"

"What did you do to that had them asking you to the dance?"

Adam shrugged and smiled that little smile he had when he was somewhat embarrassed to admit anything. "Pa, I found out tonight that you hung some mistletoe on the porch. It seemed a waste to let it hang there unnoticed."

Ben shook his head just a little and smiled. Adam had kissed two girls on the same night letting each of them think therefore that they were special in his eyes. "Son, I warned you that females in your life would make it more complicated. You're going to have to work this one out for yourself. I have found that getting involved in another man's romantic relationships just doesn't usually work out. I haven't danced much tonight so that's needs to be remedied. It will keep me busy too while you work out your complications." Ben smirked then as he walked away.

Adam decided then that he needed to work on developing a smirk like that for it communicated a great deal with one simple expression. He leaned up against the post at the base of the stairwell and was reminded that Rachel had said that he was so handsome the way he leaned up against things so naturally. He hadn't wanted to tell her that he had hurt his leg while working on the house and leaned to take the pressure off of it whenever he could. It was a comfortable thing to do and if girls thought it made him more attractive somehow, then he was going to do it more often and not only when he was hurt. He thought about what he should do and surreptitiously watched the two young women steal looks at him whenever they could. He suspected that one or the other would approach him soon, and when that happened, the other undoubtedly would follow. He had a plan formulating in his mind and waited for the two young ladies to approach him so that he could put it into motion. A short time later, Ben saw Adam escort both young ladies outside grabbing their shawls as he did so. When they walked in again later, Adam was smiling with a girl on each arm. He escorted them to the refreshment table, poured two cups of hot apple cider, and handed one to each at the same time before pouring one for himself. For the rest of the evening, Adam danced with one and then with the other. Ben had to admit to himself that he was dying to know what had happened. He finally had a chance to ask when they were cleaning up after the last guests had left.

"I told them that there was no way for me to choose between the two most beautiful young women in the territory. I said that when each asked me to the dance, I couldn't possibly say no as their beauty transfixed me and made me forget that I had already been asked."

"Didn't they want to know who asked first?"

"Well, I couldn't be sure I remembered that because the evening had been so wonderful with two gorgeous dance partners. I asked then if we could do the same at the Valentine's Day dance as I would escort both of them to the dance."

"Neither objected to that?"

With the best imitation of a Ben smirk that anyone could do, Adam shook his head. Hoss and Little Joe had been listening.

"Adam, you didn't kiss them, did you? Seth said that if you kiss a girl, you have to marry them."

"Well, Little Joe, I guess I have to marry two of them. How do you think that would work?"

"Adam, you can't marry two women."

"Hmm, then how to choose, how to choose."

Hoss interjected his idea then. "Kiss 'em some more and see which one you like better or kiss some other ones too?"

"Hoss, you do have the most wonderful ideas. Let me think. Now there's Corinne, and Brenda, Kathy, Nicole, and Debra that I can recall. I'm sure there must be more beautiful young women for me to get to know. Oh, there's Conny and Aurea. They weren't here tonight but I've seen them in church. They seem like they could be very interesting to know too."

Listening to Adam list the pretty girls who had already caught his attention, Ben rolled his eyes. He knew there were two fathers who were going to be disappointed that the most eligible bachelor in Nevada was going to be looking around before he made a choice. Ben could only hope it wouldn't be too long. He looked forward to Adam marrying and settling down on the Ponderosa. Until that happened, he would worry that someday his eldest son might leave to follow a dream.


End file.
